You come back from a long day of classes. You expect your roommate to be in the room, but he is not. He left a note saying he will not be back until after dinner. You quickly turn on your computer “to check e-mails”, thirty minutes later you have found your way onto a pornographic site. You try to assure yourself that this will be the last time, though deep down you know that you are lying.
Sadly this story is all too true among today’s generation. Pornography has become a major problem in our society. I am going to share my story and struggle with internet pornography with the hope that my story will help others.
The first time I ever viewed pornography I was twelve years old. An ad popped up while I was on-line, since I was young and naive, I clicked on it. Instantly, images of naked women flooded the computer screen. I did not know exactly what the pictures were but I knew that I liked them. After clicking on the link, I quickly shut down the computer before my parents noticed. All day I kept thinking of those pictures. I wanted to see them again. I waited till no one was home and I went back on-line. Eventually I got caught by my parents but the seed had been planted.
All throughout middle and high school I would struggle with porn. I would look at porn, and then when I was done I would tell myself I would never do it again, only to find myself back on the computer the next day. My viewing of pornography affected the way I treated women throughout high school. If you were to ask any girls I dated in high school they would tell you that I was controlling and mean this was due to my exposure to pornography. Pornography taught me that women were objects, which deserved to be abused. Pornography warped my perception of women.
I became a Christian in college at Liberty University and I really believed my porn addiction was going to disappear. The desire disappeared for a little while, however, before long it was back and worse than ever. During my freshman and sophomore year at Liberty University I struggled with pornography daily. I got involved in a breaking free group and the accountability helped, but it did not change my heart. I still desired porn more than Christ! When I looked at porn I would be filled with intense grief and anguish over my sin, I would vow never to look again, however, in a matter of days I would be back at the computer.
My junior year I began to date Julia. I was still struggling with porn, though I was not looking nearly as often. Sadly, it was not till she found porn on my computer that I became serious about fighting my addiction. The look of sadness and brokenness in her face when she found out broke my heart and I began to fight. The desire to look is still there and I still struggle! Some days are extremely difficult; however, I know that with Christ, I can beat it.
Here are the top ten ways I have found helped me beat pornography.
1. Pray to God. Ask Him to change your heart and turn your affections from pornography to Him. Jesus Christ is the ONLY one who can give you victory over this. NOTHING ELSE WILL WORK! Trust me I have tried it all. Pray and ask God for help
2. Admit you have a problem looking at pornography.
a. Looking at pornography is not “macho guy” behavior. It is wrong and you are ruining your life by looking.
3. Get serious in your desire to beat porn.
a. Great video; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4lwYRUwDRM
b. Great sermon series; How to kill sin by John Piper: http://desiringgod.org/resource-library/sermons/how-to-kill-sin-part-3 listen to all three parts
4. If you do not know Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, you will NEVER beat porn.
a. Without Christ all I knew was sin, all I could do was sin, all I did was sin. When I trusted in Christ I was set free from the power of sin and able to fight my sin.
5. Once/If you know Jesus Christ you have the power to defeat sin, confess your sin to God and ask Him for help.
a. Romans 8:12-13
6. Get an accountability partner
a. Make sure your accountability partner is someone of the same sex.
b. Make sure your accountability partner is not also struggling with porn. Trust me you will just bring each other down and give license to sin.
c. Make sure your accountability partner will ask you the tough questions and stay on you.
7. Download software which will let others know which sites you have been on.
a. I use X3 Watch: http://x3watch.com/
8. Memorize Scripture
a. Start with Job 31:1, “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully on a woman.”
b. After that begin memorizing Romans 8, take a verse a week. This chapter has helped me tremendously
9. Know your triggers and then avoid them. Do you look at porn more when you’re tired, hungry, stressed, not in the Bible? When do you look at porn? Find out when these times are and avoid them
a. For me I know that I am most tempted when I am tired and stressed therefore, during these times I stay off of the computer when I am alone.
10. Remember there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. If you know Jesus Christ and you mess up, remember God still loves you, your salvation is not at stake here, ask for forgiveness, get up and move on. Once you fall down, do not stay down, get up with the power of the Holy Spirit and continue to move forward.
a. Soak in the lyrics of this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XY2yudW5n4
We must remember the Christian life is a marathon not a sprint. God is more interested in the process then the destination. I still struggle with pornography sometimes daily, however, through the Holy Spirit I have/am receiving victory over sin and you can too!
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