Dads: Four Phrases Your Daughter Needs To Hear From You:

Dads, we know you love your daughter.  And you know you love your daughter.  But you might be surprised at much she needs to hear it.  In rreaing with teens and preteens for For Parents Only, I found that these four phrases have a lot more impact than you might think.  And as you’ll see, they are especially powerful and important when coming from a father.  Use them often!

1. “I love you, sweetheart.”  Until she is married, you are the main guy in your daughter’s life.  So this gives you a special responsibility: countering the little voice inside the head of most girls (95%) and women (80%) that secretly wonders Am I loveable?  Where you as a man probably have a little voice that asks Do I measure up? you might be shocked by how much your daughter doubts whether she is worth being loved and accepted by those around her.  And feeling loved by a man is one of the main ways girls tend to look for an answer to that question.  So as you hug her, affirm her, and tell her just how loved and loveable she is, it is far less likely she’ll feel the need to go looking for love in all the wrong places.

2. “You’re beautiful.”  Just as girls doubt that they are lovable, they really doubt that they are lovely.  We women can be really hard on ourselves.  We see all our flaws.  And every magazine rack your daughter passes screams at her that how she looks is not enough.  Your daughter needs to see evidence that she is beautiful, and the most healthy, human evidence of that at this time in her life is getting that verbal affirmation from you.  When she comes in dressed for school, tell her she looks great.  If you need to ask her to adjust her attire, make sure she knows you think she is beautiful, regardless.  Even consider taking her shopping every now and then.  She will love seeing you light up when she presents herself in a way that lights her up.

3. “I’m so proud of you.”  You like to hear this phrase.  Your daughter does, too.  The years daughters are living at home, involve lots of hard work, growing, and trying to find their way.  We found in the research that all our kids (girls and boys) don’t have a clear roadmap for who they are and how they should handle life, school, relationships and everything else.  They often feel like they are flailing around trying to figure it out.  And there is an immense relief when a parent says they are proud of them.  Whew, I did something right!   This is vital from any parent figure, but it is very clear from our interviews and surveys that God has given it a special weight of authority when coming from a father.  Don’t skimp on this phrase.

4. “I’m always here for you – even when you make mistakes.”  You may not always have to say this out loud (although you should do that too!) but you do need to show it.  As noted, our boys and girls won’t always do it right.  They will mess up, not work hard enough, make wrong choices, and suffer the consequences.  And they need to know that you are there with them through those consequences.  This is key for girls and boys, but for a girl, when a father is angry or disappointed and seems to withdraw, she emotionally translates that as if he’s saying, “I don’t love you right now.”  That is not at all what you’re saying, but that is what she’s hearing.   So when she drives recklessly, despite all your efforts to teach safe driving, let her suffer the consequences of having to go to court – but show her that you will stand beside her throughout it and that you are there for her no matter what.

Four Ways to Fight Sexual Sin:

Sexual sin goes against who God created humans to be. The Bible teaches us this lesson in Proverbs 5 as the sage warns a young married man against the adulteress.

You may not be young, or married, or a man, but the wisdom of this text applies to you as much as to anyone else. Committing adultery with a woman is not the only form of sexual sin, but it follows a pattern that is common to all. Listening to this passage will help all of us. As the passage unfolds, it presents to us four steps we’ll need to take to avoid sexual sin.

1. Flee from Temptation
The author begins with an exhortation to listen:

My son, be attentive to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding that you may keep discretion, and your lips may guard knowledge. For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil. (Proverbs 5:1–3)

Sexual sin is often attractive. It has a certain charm that invites and allures with seductive and smooth speech. It is also addictive: “The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him, and he is held fast in the cords of his sin” (Proverbs 5:22). Like any appetite, the more we feed sexual sin the more it grows. The more we commit it, the more we will feel we need it, the easier it will be to do it, and the harder it will become to stop.

So, we need to flee.

Now, O sons, listen to me, and do not depart from the words of my mouth. Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house. (Proverbs 5:7–8)

Fleeing sexual sin means doing all we can to avoid it. For some of us, that will mean restricting what we look at online, or not watching certain TV shows, or being more careful about what social situations we place ourselves in, or breaking up with someone (even if they mean the world to us), or changing our job.

If any of this seems like an overreaction, listen again to how it all ends: “He dies for lack of discipline, and because of his great folly he is led astray” (Proverbs 5:23). Sexual sin is attractive and addictive, and this is a lethal combination. Any action and sacrifice is worth it.

2. Consider the Future
The writer wants us to see what it all comes to in the end: “At the end of your life you groan, when your flesh and body are consumed” (Proverbs 5:11). Sexual sin has consequences. We may talk about these things as a “fling” or “one night stand,” but the fact is, such sins are not so easily containable.

Do not go near the door of her house lest you give your honor to others and your years to the merciless lest strangers take their fill of your strength, and your labors go to the house of a foreigner. (Proverbs 5:8–10)

Sexual sin seems so attractive now, but fast-forward to the end and it all looks very different: “You say, ‘How I hated discipline, and my heart despised reproof! I did not listen to the voice of my teachers or incline my ear to my instructors’” (Proverbs 5:12–13). The wise consider their end before they get there.

3. Uphold Your Marriage
The young man being addressed needs to see how overwhelmingly positive a thing it is to enjoy sexual fulfillment within marriage.

Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. (Proverbs 5:15–19)

The Bible is not at all embarrassed by the enjoyment of sex in marriage. Some of the imagery here leaves little to the imagination. Cistern and well are both images of female sexuality, as the fountain is of male sexuality. We shouldn’t be surprised to see such imagery in the Bible. God is the one who designed human sexuality, intending for the husband and wife to enjoy their sexual union.

It is a man being addressed in this passage (“be intoxicated always in her love”), and so this is being spoken of from his perspective. But it is equally true of how the wife is to be delighted and intoxicated by the sexual love of her husband. Paul makes this clear in the New Testament:

The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. (1 Corinthians 7:3–4)

But there is alternative intoxication offered: “Why would you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?” (Proverbs 5:20). It can feel every bit as heady and dizzying as romantic fulfillment within marriage, but we know how devastating the fallout of adultery can be. It can wreck a whole life, emotionally, physically, spiritually, and economically.

So we must work at our sex lives. And, it probably goes without saying, investment in a healthy sex life is not likely to happen without investment in the marriage relationship as a whole, building and deepening the friendship that lies at the heart of it.

What about those who are single? This kind of language can be painful. We hear of the intoxication of sexual satisfaction and it is hard to hear. We must persevere in upholding the Bible’s teaching and honor the marriage bed by living lives of purity. And we need to uphold the marriage we have together with Christ. The language of intoxication that can be so hard to hear is a picture of what we will experience in eternity with him. We are pledged to him and need to honor our relationship with him by remaining faithful to him.

4. Remember God Is Watching
All that we do, and say, and think, takes place in the full view of God: “A man’s ways are before the eyes of the Lord, and he ponders all his paths” (Proverbs 5:21).

This is a warning to us. We may be able to deceive other people; we will never deceive God. There is simply no thought he hasn’t seen and doesn’t know through and through. God sees every word we type into our search engines.

God sees our sin. But he also sees every striving to be pure and godly. He knows when we are battling; he knows what we are going through. It may well be that no one really seems to understand the kind of struggle you face or really knows the pain you go through as you fight temptation. But Jesus does. He draws near to us, as we draw near to him. Our labors for him are never unnoticed. As we fight for purity, he fights for and with us.

Avoiding an iChurch Mentality:

It’s 10:15am on a typical Sunday in a typical American evangelical church. The service starts at 10:30. You’re visiting for the first time. What’s on your mind as you look for a seat in the main auditorium? What are you expecting as you arrive? How do you hope to be treated? What do you hope to be treated to? What are you hoping to see and hear and feel?

For some it might be a fresh encounter with the living God. For others, it’s a dynamic worship experience in song—edgy, but not over the line. Many are hoping for a come-as-you-are atmosphere that’s casual but not crass, personable but not pushy, inquisitive but not invasive. Some would love to find a community of other believers like themselves, at their own stage in life . . . but not at the expense of diversity, of course. Many will want a message that’s just biblical enough to count as a sermon, but so relatable that it feels like a walk on the beach, and brief enough to beat the lunch rush. What about you? What do you expect and hope for when you attend church?

Looking for iChurch

The therapeutic, technological, and consumer revolutions have colluded to convince us that church should revolve around . . . well . . . me. Chances are, no matter how well-taught or well-intentioned we may be, our expectations for a church have been shaped at least in part by a consumer culture and the therapeutic ethos. It’s an iWorld. The “i” in “iphone” has always stood for “internet,” but the genius of the vowel is in its polyvalence. Re-purposing it as the pronoun “I” or an abbreviation for ‘individual’ has proven irresistible. We keep it lower case, of course, because it looks more innocent that way. But that hasn’t stopped us from looking for iChurch—church that facilitates how I already live; a church I can have in my pocket. The air we breathe compromises our lungs with hazy hopes of finding a local church that combines the shopping mall, the rock concert, the movie theater, the radio station, the coffee shop, the rom com, and the self-esteem boost, into a one-stop shop. If only the church had a drive-thru . . .

Maybe that’s painting us all with too broad a brush. There are lots of healthy churches and lots of healthy Christians visiting and joining them. Still, the self-deifying spirit of our age militates against the Spirit who exhaled the Scriptures and breathes after the glory of God in the churches. Contrary to our consumer’s intuition, the church is not about meeting our iNeeds as we perceive them. It’s about something far bigger . . . and better! God calls the church “The people whom I formed for myself that they might declare my praise,” and those “whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made” (Is 43:21, 7).

We do not create the church for ourselves. God created the church for Himself. We don’t create ourselves for our own praise. God creates us for His praise (1 Pet 2:5, 9). Yes, He is our God; and that’s just it—He is our God.

A Breath of Fresh Air

Evangelicals need a breath of fresh air, and that may smell funny to us if we’re used to the smog. But the more we make of Christ in our churches, and the less we make of self, the more we find our contentment in God’s glory, our meaning in His significance. Jesus said in John 13:34, “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” Jesus does not want them to know that we are hipster cool, or tech savvy, or culturally adept, or surprisingly tolerant, or that we are even more humanitarian than everyone else. What He wants them to know—what they need to know—is the Jesus of the Bible. We follow Him.

Paul said in Eph 3:10 that God’s design is that “through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places.” We’re supposed to be a display of God’s wisdom, not our own. What a vision worth living for! But when the church is bent on impressing the world by aping its franchised model and niche marketing, God’s wisdom is obscured, not displayed. Besides, the more the church looks and sounds like iCulture, the less iCulture needs to come to church. What’s the world going to learn from the church if all the church is doing is learning from the world? Sure, all truth is God’s truth; but not all wisdom is God’s wisdom (Isa 55:10–11; 1Cor 2:1–16).

Sadly, churches that mimic the world’s styles (consumerism, entertainment, self-esteem) can easily find themselves mired in the world’s problems. But is this really that surprising? iChurch sells you a commodified Christ—accessorized to your tastes—at a deep discount, usually by a pretty convincing salesman. But you get what you pay for. Repentance is swapped out for an appearance of godliness without the power. Solid faith is exchanged for a subjective feeling. Discipleship gives way to decadence. Top-grain accountability is replaced with a threadbare anonymity. Relationship is reduced to recreation. And Christ is made the head of a country club. But hey, at least you’re going to church and reaching people . . . right?

The Way It’s Supposed to Be

Tragically, many of those now disillusioned with the failings of iChurch are quitting church altogether or (just as tragic) looking for another iChurch where they will be disillusioned all over again because they’ve never been taught to look for anything else. iChurch is all they know to want. This is not the way it’s supposed to be.

But then, how is it supposed to be? Ephesians 4:11–13, 15–16 says this about Christ’s design for the church:

He gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ . . . . Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

There’s more to church than meets the “i.” The purpose of the church—and your purpose in the local church—is to reflect the glory of Christ back to the Father for His pleasure and out to all creation so that the earth will be filled with His glory as the waters cover the sea. That’s what God is committed to (Hab 2:14). The church serves that glorious mission by preaching His word (2 Tim 3:16–4:2), exalting Christ (Acts 2:36, 42), reading and singing and praying and obeying his word together (1 Tim 4:13; Col 3:16; Eph 5:19; Matt 6:9–13; Acts 2:42; 6:4), equipping the saints for good works (2 Tim 2:2; Ti 3:8), making disciples (Mt 28:18–20), calling the nations to repentance and faith in Christ (Acts 2:36; 17:30), helping each other grow in Christ-like character together (2 Pet 1:3–11), warning and exhorting each other (Heb 3:12–14), disciplining members who sin without repentance (1 Cor 5:1–13), and speaking the truth of Scripture to each other so that we grow up together into the maturity of Christ as His body (1 Cor 12:27).

But who exactly are we supposed to do all this stuff with? A commitment to everyone in general is a commitment to no one in particular. As profound as it sounds to talk a big game about the universal church, it means far more, and takes far more, to commit to a local church. We make these general commitments specific and meaningful by committing to do the one-anothers of Scripture primarily (but not exclusively) with the concrete “others” in our own local congregation. We commit to believing biblical doctrine (explained in a statement of faith), and we commit to living in a biblical way (specified in a church covenant)—together, with one congregation in particular. Love commits. And local church membership is how we make those loving commitments concrete, visible, and actualized. Committed membership shows us who we’re supposed to know, and who is supposed to know us. The local church is a household of faith (1 Tim 3:15), complete with brothers and sisters, moms and dads (1Tim 5:1–2). What kind of dad would I be if I didn’t know which neighborhood kids belonged at my table come supper time, or which ones should be sleeping under my roof every night? What kind of son would I be if I showed no respect or commitment to my own parents?

Christian, quit looking for iChurch. Instead of attuning your ears to soothing preaching and exciting music, hear what the Spirit is saying to the churches (Rev 3:22). That is, after all, what you want to hear . . . isn’t it?

The Surprising Role of Guardian Angels:

What did Jesus mean in Matthew 18:10 when he said, “See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven”? He meant: Let the magnificence of every unimpressive Christian’s entourage of angels silence our scorn and awaken awe at the simplest children of God.

To see this, let’s clarify, first, who “these little ones” are.

Who Are “These Little Ones”?

“See that you do not despise one of these little ones.” They are true believers in Jesus, viewed from the standpoint of their childlike trust in God. They are the heaven-bound children of God. We know this because of the immediate and wider context of the Gospel of Matthew.

This section in Matthew 18 began with the disciples asking, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” (Matthew 18:1). Jesus answers, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3–4). In other words, the text is not about children. It is about those who become like children, and thus enter the kingdom of heaven. It’s about true disciples of Jesus.

This is confirmed in Matthew 18:6 where Jesus says, “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.” The “little ones” are those “who believe” in Jesus.

In the wider context, we see the same language with the same meaning. For example, in Matthew 10:42, Jesus says, “Whoever gives one of these little ones even a cup of cold water because he is a disciple, truly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward.” The “little ones” are “disciples.”

Similarly, in the famous, and often misquoted, picture of the final judgment in Matthew 25, Jesus says, “The King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me’” (Matthew 25:40; compare with Matthew 11:11). The “least of these” are the “brothers” of Jesus. The “brothers” of Jesus are those who do the will of God (Matthew 12:50), and those who do the will of God are those who “enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 7:21).

Therefore, in Matthew 18:10, when Jesus refers to “these little ones” whose angels see the face of God, he is talking about his disciples — those who will enter the kingdom of heaven — not people in general. Whether humans in general have good or evil angels assigned to them (by God or the devil) is not addressed in the Bible as far as I can see. We would do well not to speculate about it. Such speculations appeal to untethered curiosities and can create distractions from vastly more sure and more important realities.

One Angel for Each Christian?

So, our question now is this: What does Jesus mean when he says that we should not despise his childlike followers? And how is it an argument for this, when he refers to “their angels” seeing God? “See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For (= because) I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven.”

It is possible that “their angels” refers to a specific angel assigned to each disciple. There is one other text that some think points in this direction. When the praying believers in Acts 12 could not believe that Peter was knocking at the gate, since he was supposed to be in prison, they said, “It is his angel!” (Acts 12:15). That may or may not imply that all believers have an angel assigned to them. It may only imply that in that situation God had commissioned an angel to use Peter’s voice (Acts 12:14), and perhaps awaken even more urgent prayer for him.

It is even more difficult here in Matthew 18:10 to infer that each believer has an angel assigned to him. What it says is, “In heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven.” The word “their” certainly implies that these angels have a special personal role to play in relation to Jesus’s disciples. But the plural “angels” may simply mean that all believers have numerous angels assigned to serve them, not just one.

Calvin’s Careful Observation

I think John Calvin’s careful observation about this text is exactly right:

The interpretation given to this passage by some commentators, as if God assigned to each believer his own angel, does not rest on solid grounds. For the words of Christ do not mean that a single angel is continually occupied with this or the other person; and such an idea is inconsistent with the whole doctrine of Scripture, which declares that the angels encamp around (Psalm 34:7) the godly, and that not one angel only, but many, have been commissioned to guard every one of the faithful. Away, then, with the fanciful notion of a good and evil angel, and let us rest satisfied with holding that the care of the whole Church is committed to angels, to assist each member as his necessities shall require. (Commentary on a Harmony of the Evangelists Matthew, Mark, and Luke, on Matthew 18:10)

Old-Covenant Ministry of Angels

“The care of the whole Church is committed to angels.” This is not a new idea. Angels are active throughout the Old Testament for the sake of God’s people. For example,

He [Jacob] dreamed, and behold, there was a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven. And behold, the angels of God were ascending and descending on it! (Genesis 28:12)

The angel of the Lord appeared to the woman and said to her, “Behold, you are barren and have not borne children, but you shall conceive and bear a son.” (Judges 13:3)

The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them. (Psalm 34:7)

He will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. (Psalm 91:11)

Bless the Lord, O you his angels, you mighty ones who do his word, obeying the voice of his word! Bless the Lord, all his hosts, his ministers, who do his will! (Psalm 103:20–21)

“My God sent his angel and shut the lions’ mouths, and they have not harmed me, because I was found blameless before him; and also before you, O king, I have done no harm.” (Daniel 6:22)

All Angels, All Christians, All the Time

And more important than these Old Testament references to angels, Hebrews 1:14 makes it clear that God sends angels to minister for the sake of the people of Christ. In the context of Hebrews 1, the writer is arguing that the Son of God is infinitely greater than angels. One of his arguments is that God never said to any angel, “Sit at my right hand” as he did to Jesus Christ (Hebrews 1:13). Instead, angels are simply God’s servants who do his bidding for the sake of those who are on their way to heaven.

To which of the angels has he ever said, “Sit at my right hand until I make your enemies a footstool for your feet”? Are they not all ministering spirits sent out to serve for the sake of those who are to inherit salvation? (Hebrews 1:13–14)

The promise here is better than the tradition that every saint has one personal guardian angel. What Hebrews 1:14 says is that all the angels — all of them — are specifically sent “for ministry” (Greek eis diakonian) — not ministry “to” Christians, but ministry “for the sake of” Christians (Greek dia tous mellontas kleronomein soterian).

This means that everything angels do, everywhere in the world, at all times, is for the good of Christians. An angel who does something by God’s assignment anywhere in the world is fulfilling the promise that God will work all things for the good of all Christians — everywhere. This is a sweeping and stunning promise. All angels serve for the good of all Christians all the time. They are agents of Romans 8:28.

The Wonder That Eminent Angels Serve Others

But as amazing as that is, it’s not the point of Matthew 18:10. The jolting point of Matthew 18:10 is not the wonder that angels serve us, but the wonder that angels serve others. Remember, the context is about how we treat other believers: “these little ones.” “See that you do not despise one of these little ones” (Matthew 18:10).

The argument Jesus gives for why we should not treat other believers in belittling ways is because “in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven.” The point of saying that these angels “see the face of my Father” is that they have the immeasurable rank and privilege to be in the immediate presence of God. You can see that meaning in Esther 1:14 and Revelation 22:4.

Having Angels Does Not Increase Our Safety or Dignity

So, how are we to be motivated to honor the lowliest Christian (Matthew 11:11) because the angels who attend them have immeasurably high rank and privilege?

I would suggest this: Ponder first that every Christian has the Creator of the universe as his Father (Romans 8:16–17), and has the Lord of the universe as his elder brother (Romans 8:29). You cannot have a safer, more exalted position as a human being than to have God as your all-caring, all-providing Father (Matthew 6:32–33; Luke 12:30–32), and Jesus as your all-authoritative Lord (Matthew 28:18).

Having a hundred or a thousand of the highest ranking angels serving you does not increase your safety or your dignity. How, then, does the argument work? How are we motivated to treat all ordinary Christians with deep respect “because” they are served by many high-ranking angels?

The Entourage of Titans Reminds You Whom You Are Dealing With

Suppose you were going to receive the son of the greatest king this afternoon. You know that he is the son of a king. He might arrive at your estate walking with two guards. In that case, he would be worthy of the greatest respect — simply because he is a king’s son. But in fact, he is going to arrive with one hundred terrifying titans of greatest strength and beauty surrounding him on every side. These beings are the elite guard and agents of the king.

When you see this entourage, the point is not that this entourage gives the king’s son a greater glory than he already had simply by being the king’s son. Rather this is a reminder of what it is like to be the king’s son.

I think this is what Jesus wants us to think when the least impressive disciple of Jesus walks into a room. “The angels of this disciple always see the face of my Father who is in heaven.” There is no counting these angels, since more or less every angel in the world serves “for the sake of” this disciple (Hebrews 1:14). And these angels always see God’s face — they have a rank and dignity corresponding to direct access to God.

Hold Every Christian in Highest Esteem

Therefore (!), don’t despise this simple, unimpressive disciple of Jesus! Let his angelic entourage remind you whose son he is. Let this angelic entourage remind you who his older brother is. Put your hand over your critical mouth, and show great esteem (Philippians 2:3) to all ordinary, childlike disciples. If having God as their Father, and Jesus as their Lord does not cause you to exchange your derision for deference, then let the terrifying advocacy and rank of their magnificent angels wake you from your stupor.

Or as Jesus says, “See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven.”

The Entire OT In One Post:

The Old Testament narratives tell the story of God’s desire to dwell with humanity. This narrative revolves around human rebellion and God’s longsuffering, faithful, covenant love for humans. The Old Testament tells the story of how humans once dwelled with God, rejected that sweet relationship, and how God relentlessly pursued his creation. It speaks of love and judgment, hope and patience, heartbreak and joy. It speaks most of all of God’s outrageous plan to send a head crusher who would defeat the serpent who tempted our ancestors. Christians today can read this story with the benefit of hindsight—knowing who Jesus is and living in right relationship with him. But our ancestors could only look forward longingly to that day when the head crusher would come and finally restore right relationship with God. This is the story of that hopeful, dreadful time between sin’s entrance and Christ’s conquest.

God’s Garden

Our story begins in the garden of Eden, where humans dwelled with God and with each other in perfect harmony. Of course, this right relationship would not last, as Adam and Eve quickly succumbed to eating the fruit that shall not be eaten. And while there are all sorts of theories as to what original sin is, the eating of the fruit ultimately represented the temptation that faces us all—to exalt oneself above God. Because of Adam’s and Eve’s decision to disobey the command not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, God issues a series of curses: the serpent would be cursed above all animals, being destined to slither along on its belly; the woman would have intense labor pains and a constant power struggle with her husband; and the ground would not easily yield its produce and the man would struggle to provide for himself and his family and would be forced to deal with the anxiety that comes along with such struggle: “By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground” (Gen 3:19 NIV).[1]

Buried in the midst of these curses is the ray of hope—the protoevangelium that drives the remainder of God’s revelation in the Old Testament—“And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel.” (Gen. 3:15). Of course the Hebrew text has no capitalization, and the original readers/hearers of the Pentateuch would not have associated this passage with Jesus the Christ. Nevertheless, the original audience—indeed, even Eve—did associate this passage with the promise of a coming Messiah who would restore the relationship with God that Adam and Eve had broken. Thus begins the narrative arc that carries readers throughout the entire Old Testament and into the New. Who would this head crusher be?

East of Eden

Heading east from Eden, our ancestors made good on God’s directive to be fruitful and multiply. With that first child Eve exclaimed, “I have acquired a man from the Lord” (Gen. 4:1). If Eve thought this man she’d acquired would crush the serpent’s head, she was soon sorely disappointed. Readers find out quickly that Cain’s heart is not for Yahweh, as he brought “an offering.” Yahweh rejected this offering while accepting Abel’s, which was “fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock” (Gen. 4:3–4). Readers are further troubled to learn that Abel will not be the head crusher for his own head is crushed by his brother. Humanity’s first two hopes for redemption are gone, and the narrative soon recounts that Seth, Eve’s third son, also dies. Enoch is a bright spot for he “walked faithfully with God” (Gen. 5:22), but again disappointment mounts when readers learn that “God took him away” (Gen. 5:24).

Genesis 5 ends by telling us about a certain Noah, who features prominently in the following several chapters. Will he crush the serpent’s head? It certainly appears so. In the midst of rampant immorality Noah stood tall. He builds an ark according to Yahweh’s specifications, loads up his family and all those animals, then waits for the coming deluge. This must be the head crusher. And yet our longing for redemption is again unfulfilled when Noah exits the boat, plants a vineyard, and gets blackout drunk. Though this man had “found favor in the eyes of the Lord” (Gen. 6:8), he would ultimately fall prey to temptation as well.

The Patriarchal Narratives

Our hope disappointed by Noah’s drunkenness, we now hear of another potential head crusher—Abraham. Chapter 12 opens with a stunning extension of grace:

"Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you. 'I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.'" (Gen. 12:1–3)

Abram responds positively and “went, as the Lord had told him” (Gen. 12:4). The narrative tension heightens now as we wonder whether Abraham will crush the serpent’s head and restore right relationship with humanity. And though Abraham demonstrates great faith in the near-sacrifice of Isaac (see Gen. 22), he also commits his own share of missteps, such as attempting to hurry along God’s plan of redemption (see the account of his relationship with Hager in Gen. 16; 21:8–21) and lying (twice!) about his relationship with Sarah to protect his own life (see Gen. 12:10–17; 20:1–18). Each of these actions endangered the promise that Abraham would father many nations at the behest of God himself. No, Abraham would not crush the serpent’s head and therefore free humanity from the curse entangling us.

Isaac holds promising potential, particularly given that the biblical text makes no indication that he protested his father’s plan to sacrifice him to Yahweh and Yahweh later appears to Isaac twice (Gen. 26:1–6, 23–25). Yet readers are again disappointed as Isaac follows in Abraham’s deception. Just after Yahweh appears to Isaac and reaffirms the Abrahamic promise the first time, Isaac endangers said promise and compromises his integrity in hopes of preserving his own life (see Gen. 26:7). Isaac will not crush the serpent’s head.

Jacob’s story seems doomed from the start, as his name indicates something about his character that is borne out in the following narrative of his life. This man clearly does not possess the qualities of one who would conquer sin and death. Rather, his story highlights the wonders of God’s grace in choosing sinners to live in relationship with him. Jacob first convinces his brother Esau to sell his birthright for a bowl of stew. Of course we are quick to fault Esau for his lack of foresight and slavery to his stomach, as the author of Hebrews points out in warning to his present and future audiences (Heb. 12:16). Yet Jacob himself is also to blame, for he knowingly took advantage of Esau’s weakness in an effort to elevate his own position in the family’s power structure. Not only that, but Jacob later followed Rebekah’s lead in intentionally deceiving his father Isaac into bestowing Esau’s blessing onto him.

As Jacob grows older he continues to demonstrate lack of character: he deceives Esau a final time (Gen. 33), favors Rachel over Leah (Gen. 29–30), and favors Joseph and then Benjamin over his other sons with disastrous results (see the Joseph narrative). In the midst of all this, Yahweh appears to Jacob not once but three times—twice at Bethel and once at Peniel, where Jacob wrestled God into the early hours of the morning. Jacob certainly seems to be the least likely candidate to restore right relationship with God, and yet God repeatedly seeks him out for a covenant relationship. What is therefore most clear from our journey with Jacob is that God “will have mercy on whomever [he] will have mercy, and [he] will have compassion on whomever [he] will have compassion” (Rom. 9:15).

As Jacob’s narrative ends, it appears that Joseph may be the promised redeemer, as Genesis closes out with the lengthy narrative describing his tumultuous relationship with his brothers (caused in no small part by Jacob himself), which results in the “saving of many lives” (Gen. 50:20). Joseph rescues Abraham’s seed from certain starvation, but even he dies, though not before affirming his trust in God’s promise to his fathers (Gen. 50:24–25). And so the patriarchal narratives conclude. God’s people are far from the land he promised to Abraham, and each person in the narrative has proven not to be the head crusher that Genesis 3:15 promised. Nevertheless, readers have learned a valuable lesson about God’s grace and humanity’s utter dependence on it. If Genesis 3:15 is to be fulfilled, it will only be by his great grace and mercy.

Wilderness Wanderings and the Promised Land

The book of Exodus opens with God’s people in slavery in Egypt, their leader having gone to the fathers, and the rise of a new pharaoh “to whom Joseph meant nothing” (Ex. 1:8) and who, therefore, ruthlessly oppressed the Hebrews. The outlook is bleak, even though God has been faithful to multiply Abraham’s descendants (Ex. 1:7, 12). Exodus 2 introduces us to the next potential head crusher, “a fine child” whose mother kept faith with Yahweh by hiding her son from the pharaoh’s genocide (Ex. 2:1–4). This baby grows up in the Egyptian king’s household, but eventually murders an Egyptian and flees the country. Moses, it turns out, is not the promised head crusher. He proves this further by striking a rock when Yahweh commanded him to speak to it (Num. 20). Despite his relationship with Yahweh—who spoke to him “face to face” (Ex. 33:11)— and along with his faithfulness in leading God’s people out of Egypt, overseeing the tabernacle’s construction, and receiving then communicating God’s law to Israel, Moses could not crush the serpent’s head. He could only typologically foreshadow the one to come (Deut. 18:15). Nevertheless, Moses was instrumental in Yahweh’s deliverance of Israel from Egypt and in the new way Yahweh would communicate with them—through dwelling among them in the Tabernacle. This was the first step after the exile from Eden toward the tabernacling of the Messiah with his people and the forthcoming indwelling of the Spirit in his people.

Deuteronomy closes with the death of Moses and the passing of the mantle onto Joshua. The tension rises again as readers wonder whether Joshua, slated to lead the people into God’s promised land and thus fulfill another aspect of the Abrahamic covenant, will crush the serpent’s head. Yahweh grants Joshua great success in leading the people to conquer the land and establish Israel in Canaan. Joshua is even the first significant figure in the Old Testament not to have committed sins such lying, murder, theft, and idolatry. Yet his story likewise ends on a somber note:

Joshua said to the people, “You are not able to serve the Lord. He is a holy God; he is a jealous God. He will not forgive your rebellion and your sins. If you forsake the Lord and serve foreign gods, he will turn and bring disaster on you and make an end of you, after he has been good to you.” But the people said to Joshua, “No! We will serve the Lord.” Then Joshua said, “You are witnesses against yourselves that you have chosen to serve the Lord.” “Yes, we are witnesses,” they replied. “Now then,” said Joshua, “throw away the foreign gods that are among you and yield your hearts to the Lord, the God of Israel.” (Josh. 24:19–23)

Great leader that he was, Joshua was yet unable to sever the people’s bondage to sin, and he himself remained subjected to death.

The Monarchy

Upon Joshua’s death the national leadership transitions to a model of successive judges whom God raises up to deliver his people after a period of rebellion and divine punishment. God’s people devolve to the point that by the end of the book of Judges, Israelites are raping and murdering one another—the natural outworking of everyone doing “as they saw fit” (Judg. 21:25).

As the biblical narrative transitions to the monarchy, Yahweh’s last appointed judge functionally transitions the nation from a strict theocracy into a monarchy. The people had grown weary of Samuel’s sons’ amorality, and so with much fanfare, the Israelites demand that Samuel “appoint a king to lead us, such as all the other nations have” (1 Sam 8:5). At Yahweh’s behest, Samuel does just this, making Saul the king over Israel. It doesn’t take long to realize that Saul will not crush the serpent’s head, and Yahweh ultimately deposes Saul after a series of sins that demonstrated Saul’s unfaithfulness to Yahweh (see 1 Sam. 13–15).

David’s story is woven into the fabric of Saul’s narrative. He slays Goliath, plays a harp to soothe Saul’s anxiety, and Samuel anoints him as king over Israel (much to his own father’s surprise!). The narrator’s depiction of David is at first unsettling. Will this young boy, who is not even big enough to wear Saul’s armor, really be the next king of Israel? Surely this anointed one would not crush the serpent’s head. Indeed, we will learn that David is not the promised Messiah—he murders Uriah, uses his power to bed Bathsheba, and refuses to execute justice when his son rapes his daughter—but he is a key figure in the unfolding of God’s plan to save humanity.

Yahweh secures David’s reign over the twelve tribes of Israel and gives him military victory over the enemies surrounding Israel. David is at rest, and now he wants to build Yahweh a house in which to dwell. Yet Yahweh demurs, stating instead that Yahweh will build David a house, that is, a dynasty. And despite David’s catastrophic failings to come just a few chapters later in 2 Samuel, Yahweh makes a covenant with him that marks the most significant Christological development since Yahweh promised a seed who would crush the serpent’s head:

When your days are over and you rest with your ancestors, I will raise up your offspring to succeed you, your own flesh and blood, and I will establish his kingdom. He is the one who will build a house for my Name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever. I will be his father, and he will be my son. When he does wrong, I will punish him with a rod wielded by men, with floggings inflicted by human hands. But my love will never be taken away from him, as I took it away from Saul, whom I removed from before you. Your house and your kingdom will endure forever before me; your throne will be established forever. (2 Sam. 7:12–16 NIV)

This Davidic covenant promised first that David’s son, Solomon, would indeed build that house that David wanted to build for Yahweh. Second, and most importantly, this covenant assured David that a ruler from his lineage would forever reign over Israel: “Your throne shall be established forever.” Further, while God promises to judge those Davidic rulers who sin against him, he also promises that “My mercy shall not depart from him.” The term that NKJV translates as “mercy” is hesed, the Hebrew term for covenant loyalty. Thus, Yahweh is promising to remain in covenant relationship with the Davidic line for all time.

Solomon comes to power upon David’s death, is granted supreme wisdom, builds the temple, and promptly violates the Deuteronomic ideals of kingship (compare Deut. 17:14–20 with 2 Chron. 1:14–17). He is not the head crusher. With the death of Solomon and fragmentation of his kingdom upon his son’s ill-advised decision to reject the people’s request that he treat them better than his father Solomon had, the reader is thrust again into the Old Testament’s messianic tension. Who will crush the serpent’s head? It wasn’t David, it wasn’t Solomon, and certainly it won’t be Rehoboam or any of the kings of the renegade northern kingdom of Israel. And while we catch glimpses of hope in a few of the kings of Judah—Josiah, Hezekiah, Asa, Jehoshaphat, Jotham—none of these conquer sin and restore humanity’s right relationship with God. As in the book of Judges, the narratives of God’s people during the divided monarchy (the period during which Israel and Judah were separated) record a downward spiral into sin, with a few moments of obedience here and there. This spiral culminates first in Israel’s exile and then in Judah’s exile. 

Prophetic Witness

Before, during, and after the divided monarchies of Israel and Judah, prophetic voices continually called God’s people to covenant faithfulness to him. They spoke boldly about the importance of keeping Torah and walking in right relationship with Yahweh, along with the covenant curses that Yahweh would bring for the people’s failure to heed their voices. They also spoke of a time when a Davidic ruler would come and reign in justice and righteousness. These prophecies described and pointed forward to the head crusher, the one in David’s line who would finally fulfill the promise of Gen 3:15. D. G. Firth organizes the prophetic witness to the head crusher under five categories: “restored/renewed Davidic kingship,” “justice and righteousness,” “security,” “restored creation,” and “promise of the Spirit.”[2] No single prophet paints a full picture of the head crusher, but taken together, it is clear that they point to someone far above any of the figures we have seen thus far. A full survey of the prophetic witness to Christ is beyond the scope of this essay, so the following focuses on the messianic portrait developed by Isaiah.

Isaiah contains what are probably the most well-known prophecies of this coming one. He would be born of a virgin and named Immanuel (Isa 7:14). He would “a stone that causes people to stumble and a rock that makes them fall” (Isa 8:14). He would be a Davidic ruler who reigned in justice and righteousness:

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the LordAlmighty will accomplish this. (Isa. 9:6–7)

And yet he would also suffer greatly: “despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain…took up our pain and bore our suffering…punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted…crushed for our iniquities…oppressed and afflicted…a lamb to the slaughter…cut off from the land of the living” (Isa. 53:3–8). All this so that “my [Yahweh’s] righteous servant will justify many, and he will bear their iniquities” (Isa. 53:11). This one, this one would crush the serpent’s head and set right what was made wrong in Eden.

The New Testament Hope

The Protestant Christian canon ends with Malachi, the final writing prophet in the line of people who spoke about the coming Messiah, who would finally crush the serpent’s head. Malachi concludes with a final word about this coming one:

Remember the law of my servant Moses, the decrees and laws I gave him at Horeb for all Israel. See, I will send the prophet Elijah to you before that great and dreadful day of the Lord comes. He will turn the hearts of the parents to their children, and the hearts of the children to their parents; or else I will come and strike the land with total destruction. (Mal. 4:4–6)

Turning the page in your Bible brings you to Matthew’s Gospel, which opens with the genealogy of Jesus. Matthew starts with Abraham to confirm Jesus’s Hebrew lineage, then traces Jesus’s family down through David to confirm his Davidic descent. Here, finally, is the head crusher. Several chapters later, Jesus confirms that John the Baptist, who opens his ministry in Matthew 3, is “the Elijah who was to come” (Matt. 11:14 NIV). The Gospel writers take great care to confirm repeatedly that Jesus Christ is indeed Messiah, the one prophesied so long ago in Gen. 3:15 (see, e.g., Matt. 2:4–6, 14–15; 4:12–17; 13:13–15, 34–35). With the Gospels having established that Jesus is the Messiah, the rest of the New Testament develops a full Christology. 

Reader, rejoice! After a long line of people who failed to deliver God’s people from bondage to sin and death, Christ has come to set his people free from the curse that Adam brought upon the world so long ago in God’s garden. Readers now can look back on the Old Testament narrative through a Christological lens, but God did not grant this to the original readers. They expectantly awaited what we have now experienced. Let us worship God for his goodness, faithfulness, and his crushing defeat of the serpent! 

7 Common Traits of Gen Z:

Seven things we need to know about Gen Z in their own words:

Gen Z want to be seen as people, not projects: If the main drive of the church is to reach students so that pews will be filled or that your church or student ministry will be seen as cool, trendy, or relevant, then you’re completely missing the point. Often, the number one reason churches say they want to reach the next generation is because, “if we don’t then our church isn’t going to exist in ten years.” I understand the fear and sincerity there. However, even that is not the right view to have. The main purpose for reaching Gen Z cannot be to prolong our local church’s name or logo. Instead, it must be a desire to reach students because they are made in the image of God, have souls, and matter to the kingdom of God. No one wants to be someone’s project, and neither do students.

Gen Z want more out of church than potluck dinners: This generation wants to be a part of “doing” something. They’ll want more out of their church than sitting on a pew, listening to sermons, going to pot-luck dinners, while waiting on the Rapture Bus to swoop down to pick them all up. They are not scared to die young; however, they are terrified to die at a ripe old age while not having done anything significant with their lives in their own eyes. They are not typically impressed by a church’s size or budget. They’re more interested in being noticed relationally and in what the church is doing outside the walls of the building. Let’s mobilize a generation. They will fail, but so do we. That’s why grace is so amazing.

Gen Z are not ageist: People tend to think that students don’t want to have anything to do with the older generation. However, this Gen Z is in desperate need for older generations to invest in them. This is largely a fatherless generation. They often seek out or are more open to discipleship or mentorship than we tend to believe. But, they won’t know how to ask for it, so they may ask you to “hangout” by using some other word that sounds like gibberish to you. Nevertheless, if this generation wants to spend time with you, then they are giving you the most valuable thing they have to offer – time.

Gen Z largely value the “why” over the “what”: Students do not typically want to do something just because it’s the way it’s always been done or because it’s what their family has always known. They are not driven by heritage. For example, a student is not going to grow to be Southern Baptist just because his parents were. If we can’t answer their “why” questions or we get defensive over their questions, we’ll lose them. Be ready to answer their honest questions with love, patience and kindness. Their experience with something or someone will often dictate their views more than history will.

Gen Z don’t want to be seen as the future of the church: Remember, the younger generation is not the future of the church—if they’ve been redeemed with the blood of Jesus, then they’re the church right now. So, let them have some ownership of the ministry, and be patient with them when they mess up … possibly a lot. A great way to keep students engaged in the ministry is by constantly communicating, illustrating and empowering participation in the vision and mission of the church. Sometimes, we’ll schedule an event to reach Gen Z using all older generations to plan it, then plead with students to bring their friends. Then, we get upset when they show up. Want them to show up? Want them to invite their friends? Then, let them have a voice in planning it.

Gen Z want authenticity and transparency: Nearly all students grow weary of gimmicks and ‘sleek presentations’ very quickly. The more transparent and vulnerable a communicator is, the more students connect. There was a time when speakers/teachers were told not to use themselves in personal illustrations; however, this generation wants to hear those personal stories. As adults, if we act as those who have it all figured out and not in desperate need of God’s grace daily ourselves, we’ll lose their attention because they won’t believe that we’re “being real” and that our faith is unattainable for them.

Gen Z know brokenness at an earlier age. They are exposed to more violence, graphic images, and evil at an earlier age. Internet exposure, media coverage, and broken homes are unfortunately the norm for far too many. They don’t know a world without the fear of mass shootings, and terrorism. This is also pornography-saturated generation—the average age of first exposure is 11. The fastest growing consumer of Internet pornography is girls 15–30; 70% of guys admit to interaction with Internet pornography, and 50% of girls. This generation is looking for solutions at a much earlier time in their lives. They know they’re broken.Thank God for the gospel, because it is mighty to save Gen Z. Share it with them, because they’re starving for it, whether they know it or not.

I’m personally encouraged by this generation of students. Even as an adult, I resonate deeply with their views. According to a recent Wall Street Journal survey, 30% of Gen Z says, “religion is very important to them.” (lowest in U.S. history). But, 78% says, “living a self-fulled life is very important to them.” This should be extremely eye-opening to us. That’s the threshold to cross in communicating to Gen Z – help them see that a “fulfilled life” only comes from Someone outside of “self”.

3 Characteristics of A Christian Man:

What is a Christian?

In spite of the New Testament’s clarity, if you were to ask a dozen self-identified evangelicals about their Christian identity, you’d get a dozen, mystifying, disparate answers.

Some would reject the label “Christian” in favor of a deconstructed term like “Jesus-follower” with presumably less cultural baggage. Some would add a slew of denominational or confessional labels, while those on the opposite side of the spectrum would add the obligatory “spiritual but not religious.” Others might even classify themselves with monikers like “born again” or “daughter of the King.”

The biblical identity of the Christian goes deeper than the labels that fall in and out of vogue. At root, we are in Christ. Our old, sinful, hell-deserving self is counted dead with Christ on the cross, and our new selves are counted as righteous before God and raised with him (2 Corinthians 5:14-15, Colossians 3:1-3). Oceans of ink have been spilled on explicating these concepts alone.

But more specifically, where does this leave the Christian man?

Most of the popular identifiers reflect, together with our romantic praise choruses, the heavily emotive, feminized state of evangelical subculture. We live in a cultural moment in which a phrase like “You’re worth it” works as well for the next Christian conference as for L’Oréal. This pattern of cognitivist, self-affirming spirituality, by its own nature, appeals only to a certain segment of the population and thus accounts for the conspicuous statistical underrepresentation of men in the average evangelical congregation.

Men in particular must recover a formulation of Christian identity that is not only biblical and practical but sufficiently masculine. Christian men need convenient handles with which to grasp the enormity of their identity in Christ.

Conveniently, the Apostle John gives us three. In 1 John 2:12-14, believers are addressed by three familial terms that carry of significant application for men.

1. You are children

“I am writing to you, little children, because your sins are forgiven for his name’s sake… I write to you, children, because you know the Father” (vv. 12-14, ESV).

Our rebirth into the family of God is the genesis of our new identity.

“But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.” (John 1:12-13)

“Jesus answered him, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.’” (John 3:3)

“Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has been born of God, and everyone who loves the Father loves whoever has been born of him… For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith.” (1 John 5:1, 4)
In regeneration, we receive a new nature with godward affections, enabling us to cast ourselves upon Christ and receive forgiveness of sin. The train of new birth, faith, justification, and adoption stampedes into the believer’s life in rapid succession. Our entrance into God’s family as children is the key that unlocks the rest of the Christian life.

In his first epistle, John employs this metaphor twice in parallel construction to emphasize two realities: (1) the believer’s cleansing pardon from sin and (2) his newfound relationship of intimacy with God the Father.

Though John is speaking to all believers, the application of these points is particularly relevant to men.

You may feel hardened. You have regrets. You raise children who reflect all your foibles and sins as a mirror. You recall your upbringing, only to find yourself simultaneously resenting your father and becoming more like him. But in Christ, your natural, hereditary record of sin is expunged and your guilt is decisively removed. You are freed to live above the accusing voice of your inner demons.

Now, your father—the figure who shapes you, models manhood, and passes on to you his very own nature—is the supreme, loving, all-powerful God of the universe, not just another flawed male. This Father calls you by his own name, looks you in the eye, and is present.

Christian men must begin to build their self-conception on their status as sons of God.

Of course, that is not to say that we are mere juveniles.

2. You are fathers

“I am writing to you, fathers, because you know him who is from the beginning… I write to you, fathers, because you know him who is from the beginning“ (vv. 13-14).

To be a child of God is, in part, to be a passive recipient of God’s grace and paternal affection. But Christian men are also to be fathers—active workers in other’ lives, not merely in the physical sense but in the sense that their firsthand knowledge of God qualifies them to influence others.

The Reformation Study Bible explains in its comment on 2:12–14: “[T]he recipients of the letter… are ‘fathers’ because their knowledge of God in Jesus Christ qualifies them to hand this knowledge down to future generations.” This comports with John’s use of filial metaphors throughout his epistles, such as in 3 John 4: “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children (the recipients of his ministry) are walking in the truth” (emphasis added). In 1 John, the apostle himself fills the role of a spiritual father, passing along his personal testimony of Christ for the joy and maturity of his beloved audience (vv. 1-5). The Apostle Paul also employs this language with the Corinthians: “I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel” (1 Corinthians 4:15b).

Just as with mature manhood comes the longing to impart to a son the wisdom, skills, and values gained along one’s journey, so with Christian manhood comes the desire to plant a spiritual legacy in others. In our youth, God graciously adopts us into his family and gives us a new name; in our maturity, we call others to receive that same adoption, and we cultivate a new generation as his namesake.

Such paternal oversight, in a small way, reflects God’s paternal ownership of us. In disciple-making, we sacrifice ourselves, taking on a measure of responsibility for the eternal welfare of others.

Spiritual fatherhood is also a sign and seal of our right standing with God. In making disciples, we prove to the world and ourselves that we indeed possess the faith we profess, shaping others into the image of Christ even as we ourselves are being shaped. We assure ourselves that we are more than idle consumers of spiritual blessings but also real contributors—an investment which, like physical parenting, pays rich dividends. We do not need to wait until we “arrive” on a certain plane of piety before we can invest in the next spiritual generation. We have something worth giving now because we know God.

And not only do we raise others to fight; we’re engaged on the frontlines ourselves.

3. You are young men

“I am writing to you, young men, because you have overcome the evil one… I write to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the evil one” (1 John 2:13, 14).

“Young men” are marked by vitality, fervor, and drive. We draw our identity from Christ, the divine warrior whose crushing victory promised in Eden was fulfilled when he came to destroy the works of the devil (Genesis 3:15, 1 John 3:8). In Christ, we too overcome the evil one who holds the entire fallen cosmos in his sway (5:5, 19), joining our commander-in-chief in stomping the serpent’s head into the dust (Romans 16:20). Our victory against our ancient celestial enemy is already a done deal because of Christ (note v. 14: “you have overcome the evil one”).

We are victors, not victims. We are more than conquerors, not merely the conquered. Our standing in Christ strengthens us to crucify our tendency to pout, sulk, and bemoan the wrongs done to us. We annihilate self-pity and fight for joy, holiness, and self-discipline with all the grit of one whose very bones are indwelt by God Almighty. Day by day, we pommel our blood-bought bodies to win the prize (1 Corinthians 6:20, 9:27).

Note also verse 14: we are strong. We are not just wanderers a in some spiritual journey of self-discovery, just “trying to figure out life” with the rest of the lost masses. We have more to offer the world than dainty Socratic dialogues over spirituality in coffee shops, devoid of any real conviction; we preach Christ and him crucified to the dying and damnable. We are soldiers drafted into a cosmic battle for truth and honor by the God whose decree writes reality itself. We don’t just deconstruct; we build.

Conclusion

If the state of the culture both within and without the church proves anything, it’s that we need mature, fighting, manly Christian men. While John’s metaphors, of course, have vast spiritual import for believers young and old, male and female, the implications for men should not be lost on us. We must lay aside our cultural baggage and recover the biblical foundation on which to build a masculine, Christ-centered self-conception.

What is a Christian man? More than a product of his environment, a struggling sojourner, or a religious conversation partner. He is a son of God, a spiritual father, and a fierce fighter.

Go Big OR Go Home:

In 1517, three ships under the command of Hernández de Córdoba sailed west and explored the Yucatán peninsula. Upon arrival, the soldiers disembarked but were attacked at night by Mayans armed with arrows and spears. Twenty soldiers died, including de Córdoba himself. The surviving crew faced a choice: stay and complete the exploration, thereby gaining historical renown and reward from their governor, or get back on their ships and hightail it out of there. They chose the ships and sailed home in a hurry.

Two years later the expedition was attempted again, this time commanded by Hernán Cortés. He was so committed to the mission that he sold everything he had to finance it. He sailed with 11 ships, manned by 100 sailors and 500 soldiers. Legend has it that when he landed at Veracruz, Mexico, he told his crew to offload everything they had brought with them. He then set fire to all 11 ships.

Imagine the 600 men standing on the beach watching their only way back home burning to ashes. No matter how fierce the fighting would be, retreat was not an option.

Jesus calls us to burn our ships. He wants the same dedication and unflinching commitment to all who call themselves his followers. When you turn to Christ you set ablaze the boats that could take you back to your old life. With that in mind, let’s consider Luke 9:57-62Open in Logos Bible Software (if available).


3 Ships that Prevent Commitment to Christ

1. Personal Comfort

Luke 9:57-58Open in Logos Bible Software (if available) As they were going along the road, someone said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.”

This guy is low hanging fruit, ripe for the plucking. He doesn’t even wait for the gospel presentation. But instead of saying, “I see that hand, praise God, hallelujah…” Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.”

In other words: “You’re signing the dotted line without reading the contract.” Jesus discerns this man’s heart and knows that there’s a certain level of basic comfort that he feels is needed for life. So Jesus picks at that loose end to unravel his half-hearted commitment.

Jesus wants followers with their eyes wide open. Look at Luke 9:23Open in Logos Bible Software (if available) And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”

Comfort is one of the most common reasons people won’t commit to Christ. They want enough Christianity to feel saved, but just ask them to serve, to give financially, to change the way they use debt and what they do with their time… they will hit the eject button.

But there are only 2 categories: fanatic follower or fake follower.

2. Priority Confusion

Luke 9:59Open in Logos Bible Software (if available) To another he said, “Follow me.” But he said, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” 60 And Jesus said to him, “Leave the dead to bury their own dead. But as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”

This time Jesus initiates. He commands this man to follow him. And he agrees….on condition: (vs 59) But he said, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.”

But… (vs 60) Jesus said to him, “Leave the dead to bury their own dead. But as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”

Wow, this seems a bit harsh, doesn’t it?

In those days the Jews didn’t have morgues with refrigerators. So when a person died the burial happened that day. From this we surmise that this man’s father had not died yet (or he would be at home burying the him). In all likelihood “bury my father” was a euphemism for “get my inheritance.”

So this guy is saying to Jesus, “I do want to commit to you, but I have one higher priority: to see my share of the wealth allocated to me.”

Expecting an inheritance isn’t a sin. But it’s a confusion of priorities.

Our top priority is always to obey Jesus. And this guy has a direct command from the Lord: follow me! But his response is “Okay, but on one condition.”

You might fill your life with neutral things like games and gardening, or even good things like chauffeuring your kids around and working hard. These are good priorities.

But do they crowd out your devotions, your church attendance, your home group participation?
Do you live as if there is something more important in this life than Jesus?

Don’t get busy with good things and ignore the best thing.

3. Postponed Commitment

Luke 9:61-62Open in Logos Bible Software (if available) Yet another said, “I will follow you, Lord, but let me first say farewell to those at my home.” Jesus said to him, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.”

This applicant makes a commitment on the spot. But he sneaks a timing clause into the contract. “I will follow you in the future, but not right now.”

Another reasonable request, you may say. But it betrays a principle that is unacceptable to Christ: a timing condition.

Many people stumble over the procrastination hurdle. You want to be committed, just not today.

Very few would say “I reject Jesus,” so instead they say “I will commit later.”
I’ll commit when I’m out of university. I’ll give financially when I’m out of debt. I’ll serve in the church after this busy season in my career.

What does Jesus think of that? (vs 62) Jesus said to him, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.”

A hesitant disciple is a non-disciple.

It’s never too late to commit. But make sure when you do, it’s complete and unflinching. If you are backslidden in your walk, repent today, not tomorrow. And never look back.

Go big or go home.

Why Christians Oppose Abortions:

I believe that discussion—true discussion—begins by understanding the position of those with whom you dialogue. If media—broadcast, print, and social—are any indication, then our nation is in a dialogue crisis, for we do not understand the position of the other. This is no more obvious on any issue than that of abortion. Public debate regarding abortion policy has devolved into a name-calling match. Opponents of abortion are “closed-minded,” “religious nuts,” or “misogynists.” Proponents of abortion are “murderers,” “baby killers,” or “anti-child.” With recent political events in New York, Virginia, and the attempted passage of the “Born-Alive Bill” in the Senate, it seems a good time to remind why Christians have held this historical position.

Perhaps such a task is fruitless, but I want the discussion to move forward. So, if you are willing to read without taking offense, I am going to attempt to explain the basic Christian position regarding abortion.

I do so in order to allow those outside of the Christian faith the opportunity of understanding a group of citizens within the state.

I will do so in two parts. In part one, I will provide the basic theological and Scriptural reasons that Christians have historically opposed abortion. In part two, I will provide a few sociological reasons that Christians do so, as well.

Before I begin, I want to state that while my convictions are firm on this matter, I do not write in order to attack or badger another. I hold to the teaching of Jesus that I am to love my neighbor as myself. Therefore, I hope that my writing will convey that spirit of love. If I veer into condescension or mindless attack, I hope you will point that out. Secondly, this essay is not a condemnation of any woman who has chosen to have an abortion—more on that in a moment—but is instead intended to explain why Christians have argued for other options.

With those things in mind:

Part One, Theological and Scriptural Reasons:

1. Christians believe in the sanctity of human life. This belief is, ultimately, the cornerstone of all orthodox Christian responses to abortion. The ancient Jewish community (the theological predecessor to the church) held to this conviction as well. These convictions begin with a reading of the Bible, the book that Christians hold to be sacred.

The Christian conviction that human life is sacred comes from multiple portions of Scripture, but it springs initially from the opening chapters of Genesis: the creation narrative. Throughout the creation account, the Lord claims that creation is very good. However, after creating humankind in His image (Genesis 1:28), the Lord says that humanity is VERY good. The poetic and structural work of Genesis is not accidental. The Lord has said creation is good five times, but here, the sixth time, he says the work is very good. This is not accidental. He says it is very good, for humanity is the cornerstone and climax of creation.

When Christians oppose abortion, they are beginning with the fundamental belief that humans are the capstone of creation, created in the image of God, and therefore ought to be preserved.

2. Christians believe life begins prior to birth.

The first conviction—the sanctity of human life—is not all that surprising. The rub begins with the second conviction that human life begins prior to birth. (For those who watched the debate surrounding SB5, much of the discussion regarded whether a fetus at 20 weeks could experience pain; while much research suggests the answer is yes, Christians do not believe pain determines personhood.)

This conviction is formed from two places: the reading of Scripture, and the intention of heterosexual intercourse. If you are not a Christian, Scripture will not matter much, but let me list a few of the Scriptures Christians have held to in their understanding of human life beginning prior to birth.

The Psalms declare that those in the womb are being formed by the Lord: “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb” (Psalm 139:13).

Jeremiah 1:5 states, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”

Job 31:15 says, “Did not he who made me in the womb make him? And did not one fashion us in the womb?”

There are other Scriptures, as well, but you see the point of them: human life is not only the capstone of creation, but it is formed intentionally in the womb. (Side Note: This is why Christians have supported giving birth to children that are diagnosed with special needs or deformities prior to birth. They believe that even the most deformed of humans are intended by God to honor Him. While over 90% of Down’s Syndrome babies are aborted due to concerns of care and cost, Christians support giving birth to those children because they are still created in God’s image and can show us His image in their lives.)

Beyond Scripture, Christians believe that sex is not merely an act for pleasure, but also for reproduction. In other words, Christians believe that when they engage in sex, they are prepared to welcome and care for any children that may result from that sexual activity. This conviction, of course, affects the way they view sex. As a Christian father, I teach my children that sex is to be reserved for marriage. This is not because I am anti-sex. I am actually pro-sex. But I am pro-sex within marriage because I want any children that result from sexual intercourse to be welcomed into that relationship. (I will talk about sex and children outside of marriage in a moment.)

Consequently, Christians believe that if a woman is pregnant, a life has begun and it must be cared for and preserved. (Side Note: There is debate within the Christian community whether life begins at a) conception, b) the formation of a heartbeat, or c) the beginning of brainwaves. I tend towards a), but will save that discussion for another time.) Therefore, the termination of a pregnancy is tantamount to murder to many Christians, for they see the pregnancy as a human life. This mindset is not a recent development. The word “fetus,” for example, while often used to mean “something not quite human” is actually Latin for “offspring.” The ancients saw the pregnancy as the beginning of human life and named it as such.

Other Christians have stated the same more eloquently than I, but I will quote one of my theological mentors, Dietrich Bonhoeffer: “Destruction of the embryo in the mother’s womb is a violation of the right to live which God has bestowed upon this nascent life. To raise the question of whether we are here concerned already with a human being or not is merely to confuse the issue. The simple fact is that God certainly intended to create a human being and that this nascent human being has been deliberately deprived of his life. And this is nothing but murder.” (DB, Ethics)

3. Christians believe children are a blessing. Convictions #1 and #2 then lead to #3. If humans are the capstone of creation, and if life begins prior to birth, then a child is not a liability or a problem, but a gift from God. This is a great dissonance to our culture, particularly in the West. If we are honest with ourselves, we are rather selfish creatures. We want what we want, and we want it as soon as possible. Children often prevent us from this process of self-actualization, and, consequently, our culture has viewed them as obstacles to overcome, for anything that prevents my self-actualization cannot be good.

I could wax eloquently about how Ben (my oldest son) was an unplanned pregnancy while I was a full-time graduate student and diagnosed with heart failure and my wife was completing her teaching certification leaving us broke, sick, and with child. I could tell you that he and Andrew are the greatest delights in my life.

But such a story is not an argument. It is simply my experience in light of my walk with Jesus. Again, Scripture:

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 19:14)

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,

the fruit of the womb a reward.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior

are the children of one’s youth.

Blessed is the man

who fills his quiver with them!

He shall not be put to shame

when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. (Psalm 127:3-5)

Christians believe that when God gives a child, he gives a blessing, and therefore, that child should be cherished.

4. Christians believe the prior convictions are higher than personal rights.  Many questions arise when an unplanned pregnancy occurs. What if I don’t want to have a baby? What if I can’t provide for this baby? What if the parents will treat this child badly?

Much of the political debate surrounding abortion centers on an issue typically phrased as “woman’s reproductive rights.” Those who believe women ought to be able to terminate a pregnancy argue that limiting that right interferes with personal rights and a woman’s right to control her own body. As I’ve already demonstrated, the Christian conviction that this child is a human life comes into direct contradiction with this opposing conviction of personal rights. Consequently, Christians have argued that the child should be carried full-term while those who support abortion argue that the fetus is not a fully-formed human life and can be terminated.

For example, a New York Times editorial from 2004 about a mother who selectively reduced her pregnancy with triplets to a single pregnancy focuses on individual rights. Her decision is driven by career, lifestyle, etc. Proponents of abortion would support such reasoning; historic Christianity would argue the rights of the unborn children are human rights on the same level as that of the mother. Both sides appeal to human rights. Proponents appeal to rights of freedom; opponents appeal to rights to live.3

5. Consequently, Christians are advocates for alternatives to abortion. In his book, The Rise of Christianity, Rodney Stark shows how first-century Christians would rescue unwanted babies from the dump. When pagan Roman families would discard children (usually girls), the Christians would offer to take them in, to adopt them. Christians have always held to a culture of life.

Christians not only argue against abortion, but they also argue for fostering and adopting, because they believe that the best path for every child is into a home. Right now I have numerous Christian friends adopting children of all backgrounds, nationalities, and races, because those children are without parents. These friends take seriously the command of James: “True religion is this: to care for widows and orphans.”

I do not have statistics available at this moment, but Christian adoption is on the rise, primarily because Christians feel it is the most effective way to stem the tide of abortion. Such a movement is not without issues, to be certain, but when I talk to friends of mine like the Chappells, I am encouraged that adoption is a beautiful way to demonstrate the love of Jesus to those without parents. (Side Note: I once heard a study claiming that if every church in the United States adopted one child, there would be no need for foster care. I’m grateful to pastor churches with multiple adoptive families.)

Part Two, Sociological Reasons:

I will avoid tired “conservative” or “political” arguments. I am a pastor, so I want to talk about three particular social issues I find troubling with the issue of abortion, for I think these affect the spirit of humans, and consequently, should be considered by people, even those who are not people of faith.

1. Minorities are affected disproportionately by abortion. There is a legion of reasons why this is the case, but the African-American community is most adversely affected by abortion. Forget about the sinister beginnings of Planned Parenthood being designed “to exterminate the Negro population.” Whether that is intended today or not, abortion terminates pregnancies of minority women at three times the rate of non-Hispanic, white women. In other words, a smaller percentage of the population uses abortion at a higher rate, preventing the expansion and flourishing of that race.

2. Women are affected disproportionately by abortion. I’m not talking about sex-selective abortion, although worldwide more girls than boys are terminated. That is certainly tragic. But I am talking about the post-abortive depression and guilt that thousands of women experience every year, as discussed in this Atlantic monthly article from last week. When women like “Jane Roe” (Norma McCorvey) end up being pro-life by the end of their lives due to the overwhelming feeling that they are killing, this seems to be a sociological phenomenon that ought to be investigated.

3. The majority of Americans oppose late-term abortion. This is not some closed-minded theocracy, as many proponents of abortion would claim. As The Huffington Post reports, Americans overwhelmingly support a ban on late-term abortions: 59% to 30%. If public opinion matters in other social issues (i.e., same-sex marriage) in the eyes of Congress and the courts, shouldn’t such support matter in this social issue?

Postscript: Are You Condemning Women?

One night as part of a church home group, we took turns sharing our story of coming to faith. One of the women in our group confessed that years earlier she had become pregnant and chosen to have an abortion. She broke down into tears, almost hysterical with guilt. And our group modeled Jesus well, in my estimation. We each hugged her. We told her that the Lord had forgiven her through the grace of Christ. And we told her that we each loved her. To this day she is a committed Christian and a close friend.

This essay is not intended to condemn any woman that has chosen to have an abortion. Many Christians have done that in the past. I am so sorry that has taken place, and I wish I could take away the hurt they have caused. Guilt, manipulation, and anger are not the tools of Jesus. This essay is instead intended to demonstrate why Christians feel strongly about this issue, and it is intended to hopefully change some hearts.

If you are a woman who has had an abortion, or if you are friends with a woman who has made such a choice, I hope you will understand the desire of the church is this: To share the Scripture, to pray with you, and to offer you a hug.

I hope you will not hate Christians because they want to see abortions reduced and, one day, eliminated. We believe we are preserving human life, that portion of creation most treasured by God. And I hope you have not felt attacked. Instead, I hope you have understood our position, and I hope you will respect us as we speak into the democratic public square of our nation, a place where all voices can be heard, including those that belong to people of faith.

Families Paint A Beautiful Picture of God:

God uses family as a means of providing pictures that can teach crucial truths to humanity. There are things we cannot easily understand if we do not understand family. On the other hand, there are things we are well on our way to understanding when we understand family. When God wants to teach us certain truths, he essentially says, “picture a father and a son, or picture a wife and a husband, or picture a brother and sister.” Because he made these family relationships to be universal, he can use them as pictures in every context and in every age. He begins with what we know, then uses that knowledge as a bridge to what we don’t know.

So if we understand family, we have language and concepts that help us understand certain truths about God and his works and his ways. But if we lose family, or redefine it, we begin to lose that language and lose those concepts.

Let me give you four important pictures God uses that depend upon family.

Family Pictures the Trinity

First, family pictures the Trinity. If you don’t understand family, you can’t understand God himself. Why? Because God reveals the first person of the Trinity as God the Father and the second person of the Trinity as God the Son. Of course this Father-Son relationship is not identical to our father-son relationships, but it does help us understand that they relate and interact as Father and Son.

Imagine there was a place with no fathers and sons. In that place you would have trouble explaining John 3:16: “For God [the Father] so loved the world that he gave his only Son that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” If you don’t understand the powerful, natural love and protection of a Father for his Son, how could you understand what it cost God to provide his beloved Son as a sacrifice?

This is one reason fatherlessness is harmful—it removes the point of comparison between our fathers on earth and our much greater Father in heaven. This is one reason why fathers who abuse their children are committing a terrible offence—they are giving a false picture of the way God the Father relates to God the Son—No one would ever accuse God of cosmic child abuse if there wasn’t the reality of human child abuse. This is why we need to be concerned about same-sex relationships—in a partnership where there are only two mothers, the picture of God as Father is negated.

Family Pictures the Gospel

So family pictures the relationship of the Trinity. It also pictures the relationship at the heart of gospel. The good news of the gospel is that God has a family, and we are invited to become part of it. When we put our faith in Jesus, we are adopted by the Father and become his children.

Ephesians 1:4 says, “In love, he [the Father] predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace…” How can we understand what it means to be welcomed as sons of a loving father if we don’t know anything about family?

Imagine that place where there are no families, where perhaps government raises children itself. In a place like that, you would struggle to explain the intimacy of the relationship we enjoy with God as his children. When we’re saved by God, we aren’t registered into an institution by a bureaucrat, but welcomed into a family by a Father. God gave us family so we would know what it means when he offers us the great honor of becoming his beloved sons and daughters.

Family Pictures Christ

Then, family also pictures Christ and his church. In Ephesians 5 we learn that the relationship of a husband and wife has always served as a picture of the relationship of Christ and his people. We are meant to say, “You know how a husband loves his wife and would sacrifice himself to save his bride? That’s how Jesus loves his people. You know how a wife responds to her husband’s love and joyfully follows his leadership? That’s how the church is to respond to Jesus.”

In a place where there is no marriage, you would struggle to explain how much Jesus loves his church and how the church is to respond to that love. This is why the redefinition of marriage to include same-sex unions is harmful. Christ and the church are pictured through the complementarity of a husband and wife, not the uniformity of two husbands or two wives.

This is why it is so damaging that more and more people are choosing to cohabitate instead of marry. Christ and his church are pictured in the covenantal permanence of marriage, not the temporary convenience of cohabitation. The covenant, the public promise before God and man, makes all the difference.

Family Pictures the Church

Family pictures the Trinity, the gospel, and Jesus Christ. It also pictures the church and the relationship between Christians. Spend time around Christians and you’ll soon hear someone speak of “brothers and sisters.” That’s not just a charming little quirk, but a spiritual reality that follows from our adoption into the family of God. Think of 1 Timothy 5:1 where Paul tells Timothy, “Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.”

If you found that place where there are no fathers, mothers, brothers, or sisters, how would you explain how church members are to relate to one another? Or if you found a place where fathers are dishonoured, mothers are forsaken, brothers are resented, or sisters are taken advantage of, it would be difficult to explain. Why? Because we are to relate to one another like a family!

Conclusion

Here’s what we need to see: God has given us family as a way to picture other things, a way to understand other realities. And the more our families look like God’s design for families, the clearer those pictures will become, the closer people will be to understanding.