Tough Questions: May a Christian divorce and remarry?:

THESIS: Marriage is a covenantal relationship between God and man, intended to last a lifetime; however, due to man's sinful heart divorce may occur if a spouse has committed sexual unfaithfulness, an unbelieving spouse chooses to leave, and/or physical and/or mental and/or sexual abuse is taking place. If a permissible divorce occurs a Christian is morally free to start another marriage.

GOD’S GLORIOUS PLAN:

God is the designer and author of marriage; therefore, only through a relationship with Him will individuals be able to fully flourish in marriage. Marriage began in the Garden of Eden when God joined together Adam and Eve. God saw that Adam was alone, and therefore, God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep, during which time He created from Adam, Eve. Genesis 2:24 records God’s thoughts on marriage and His desire for a marriage relationship, “therefore, a man should leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” God’s plan was for men and women to leave behind other relationships and depend on each other and God. Dr. Luck writes, “… union in marriage is an intimate and complementing companionship wherein two individuals become a unit in order to do the work of God and to experience His blessing.” Marriage was on God’s mind from the beginning. Marriage is God’s plan and God’s wonderful gift to humanity. Marriage includes oneness and intimacy.

 COVENANTAL RELATIONSHIPS:

 Marriage is a covenantal relationship between God and man. Covenants in the Bible with the exception of the Mosaic Covenant are unconditional. The Mosaic Covenant which was given on Mount Sinai is conditional, and is based on how the Israelites obeyed the Law. In some of the Minor Prophets God says that he has divorced the nation of Israel (Isaiah 50:1 and Jeremiah 3:8-9). In other words God has abandoned the Mosaic covenant in regards to Israel. God is making an analogy of the marriage covenant showing that Israel had been adulterous with other nations and idols. Therefore God “divorced” them. God “divorces” His people, because of their spiritual adultery; this is a picture of the seriousness of sexual sin in God’s eyes. While God did divorce His people He did not forsake His people. The Abrahamic Covenant was not conditioned upon Israel’s behavior; however, the Mosaic covenant depended on Israel’s obedience.

Since Israel was being disobedient and adulterous, God divorced them. The marriage covenant functions in much the same way as God’s covenants with His people. Covenants are primarily between God and man. When two individuals are joined together in marriage they are bound by certain covenantal obligations, these obligations are set forth in the vows which are stated during the ceremony. Death functions as one of the only legitimate reasons for ending a marriage. While marriage is a covenant and the majority of covenants are unconditional, the marriage covenant is able to be broken for three reasons which include sexual unfaithfulness, desertion by an unbelieving spouse and/or physical or mental abuse.

MOSES TEACHING ON DIVORCE:

Deuteronomy 24:1-4 is crucial to understanding divorce because this passage is quoted by the Pharisees when the Pharisees ask Jesus about divorce in Matthew 19 and was used by different Jewish communities from the time of Moses until the time of Christ. In Deuteronomy 24:1, Moses gives divorce guidelines. Jesus commenting on this passage in Matthew 19:8 states that the law was given, “because of your hardness of hearts, but from the beginning it was not so.” God permitted divorce due to the sinfulness of men; however, His original plan was for marriage to be a lifelong covenant between spouses. 

Deuteronomy 24:1-4 deals with a man divorcing a woman because of “a matter of indecency.” The Hebrew word used here is “ervath davar”, according to Dr. Mounce, “ervath davar could either mean something like adultery or it could be given a broader meaning.” In Jesus day different schools of thoughts interpreted “ervath davar” in different ways, however, the most popular understanding of “ervath davar” was sexual immorality. The point of verses 1-4 is not whether individuals may or may not divorce but rather if divorce occurs than a man cannot remarry a person whom he has divorced. Ancient near Eastern Cultures were rampant with divorce. Men were able to divorce women for any reason and women could do nothing about it, because of this God gave this law through Moses in order to protect women. This passage while permitting divorce because of man’s sinful heart, also provided protection and shows God’s love for women. The passage focuses on the need for a husband to provide a certificate of divorce, which, was needed for the protection of women in that particular culture.

Deuteronomy 24:1-4, was intended to protect women from being tossed about like a toy between husbands as they changed their whim. This gave more freedom for the woman because she was no longer obligated to go back to a man if she had gotten remarried. When compared to the ancient practices of the day this gave women protection; however, interpreters of Deuteronomy 24:1-4 must understand God’s original plan for marriage is a lifelong relationship. Moses permitted divorce due to sinful hearts; however, Moses writing under inspiration of God, protected women and made divorce harder than the surrounding nations.

 JESUS’S TEACHING ON DIVORCE:

Matthew 19 is Jesus most prominent teaching on divorce and includes the famous exception clause. Jesus words in Matthew 19 teach that divorce is permissible in the case of adultery and sexual immorality.  The case for this is found in the Gospels (Matthew 5:31-32, Matthew 19:3-12, Mark 10:2-12, Luke 16:18).  The main point the Pharisees ask Jesus about is divorce.  Jesus’ answer is found in Matthew, Mark, and Luke, but the best and most detailed answer is found in the Matthew 19 passage. The Pharisees first ask Jesus whether divorce is permissible for “any reason.” This phrase is the key to understanding the passage.  The other two gospel accounts leave it out.  The Pharisees were not asking Jesus to list all of the exceptions of divorce.  They knew the Law.  They were asking Jesus his opinion on a controversial topic of that time. The Pharisees were attempting to trap Jesus; however, Jesus goes beyond the Hillel/Shammai debate and interprets the law to the law’s fullest extent. 

First, Jesus goes back to Genesis and states the original intention for marriage.  He says "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together let no man separate.” God is the author of marriage, and the one who joins individuals together. God’s will is that two individuals remain joined together for life. The Pharisees continue by asking Jesus why Moses even mentioned the exception in Deuteronomy 24.  Jesus says that it was for the Israelites hardness of heart that Moses mentions it.  In other words, divorce is not God’s plan for marriage; however, He permits it because of the hardness of man’s heart. God’s will is no divorce, the verb is in the perfect tense which shows a past action continues to be present, however, God will “permit” divorce because of the hardness of men’s hearts. Divorce among believers even over the issue of sexual unfaithfulness MUST always be seen as a last resort. Moses was not simply trying to give them lots of excuses for divorcing their wives, rather as we have seen God was trying to protect women from becoming the victims of husbands who change their mind on a whim. Jesus then says “whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”  In other words, anyone who divorces his wife for “any reason” has invalidly divorced her. This would have caused quite a stir because this type of divorce would have been common.

Jesus’ exception in Matthew 19:9 in which Jesus says, “And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”Jesus exception clause uses the Greek word porneia.  According to Thomas Edger, “the term porneia has the meaning illicit sex and can refer to illicit sex in general or, in a given context, to some specific immorality.”Some would limit the meaning of this word to strictly adultery. However, porneia’s usage seems to be broader in meaning.  Tom Edger once again writes, “in both the Septuagint and in the New Testament, this word is used sometimes referring to adultery and other times referring to sexual immorality in general (prostitution, incest etc.).” The word used in this context seems to mean any sort of sexual relations outside of God’s intended model of marriage. According to Mounce, “the word has a very broad sexual connotation-including unlawful heterosexual relationships, homosexuality, incest and bestiality." If Jesus was only referring to adultery in this context Matthew when recording the event would have used the Greek word, “moicheia”, which always refers to adultery. Matthew did not record this word, and therefore one may assume that his intention was to get at a deeper meaning. Jesus is referring to either unrepentant adultery or unrepentant sexual unfaithfulness whether it is, homosexuality, pornography, etc. Thomas Edgar writes, “unfaithfulness or adultery is regarded as such a serious sin that it alone is acceptable as grounds for a genuine severance of a marriage.” Sexual immorality is a serious offense because the act breaks the bond between a husband and wife and therefore individuals are permitted to divorce. The Feinbergs write, “(W)hen pornei occurs it contradicts the commitment to remain faithful to (cleave to) one’s spouse and thereby breaks the bond. Jesus does not say that individuals must divorce but only that divorce is permitted, individuals should be encouraged to seek restoration and marriage counseling and divorce must be viewed as a last option. Individuals who have been victims of porneia should engage in marital counseling as well as seek advice from spiritual leaders before initiating divorce. Divorce even in the case of porneia must be viewed as a last option. Christ allows for the porneia exception while severely decreasing the grounds for divorce that would have been acceptable in His day as well as in ours.

 REMARRIAGE:

If a permitted divorce takes place individuals are allowed to re-marry without committing adultery. When porneia occurred the marriage covenant was broken as if the spouse had died therefore the treatment which should be rendered is the same as if an individual had died. Knierskin writes, “By implication, if a divorce is permissible for porneia, then the marriage is broken. It is as if a death of the un-faithful spouse has occurred." If a biblical divorce has occurred then individuals are free to remarry if they so choose.

 PAUL’S TEACHINGS ON DIVORCE

Paul gives a second reason for a legitimate divorce in 1 Corinthians 7.  In verses 10-17 Paul addresses the problem of abandonment by an unbeliever.  Apparently there was a problem with unbelieving spouses leaving their partners.  When this happened the Christian would wonder if they were legitimately divorced.  Were they technically still married to their unbelieving spouse who wanted nothing to do with them?  Could they remarry?  This was the problem that Paul was addressing. In verse 10-11 Paul condemns divorce and abandonment. He says that a wife should not leave her husband and vice verse. John MacArthur writes, "If a Christian divorces another Christian except for adultery, neither partner is free to marry another person. They should reconcile, or at least remain unmarried.” However, because of the following verses, it is evident that Paul is referring to believers that are in this situation. In verse 12 he says “but to the rest I say,” showing a shift in thought.  He then goes on to talk about unbelieving spouses.  So if two believers get divorced with an invalid reason like abandonment they cannot remarry.  They must be reconciled to their spouse. The question may arise what if I was divorced (unbiblical reason) and have remarried am I living in sin, should I divorce and attempt to reconcile? The answer is "no", confess your sin of divorce, understand you have been forgiven and washed clean by the blood of Christ, there is no condemnation for those in Christ, remain married to your current spouse and enjoy your marriage.

 

To the person with an unbelieving spouse, Paul gives another answer.  He says first that if a believer has an unbelieving spouse who consents to live with her than she should not divorce the unbeliever.  However, in verse 15 Paul says that if an unbeliever abandons the believer, which was the custom for divorce, then the believer is “not bound.”  In other words, they were not obligated to reconcile themselves to their partner as a believing spouse would be.  They were free to remarry or remain single. John Fraser translating Calvin writes, “If an unbeliever puts away his or her partner, because of the question of religion, then the brother or sister is freed from the marriage bond by such rejection.”   In summary, the person with an unbelieving

 spouse should try as hard as possible to remain married with that person, but if they are abandoned, they are free to get remarried or remain single.

 ABUSE: PHYSICAL/MENTAL

          The Bible is silent on the issue of spousal abuse as a reason for divorce. Physical violence is illegal and should not be tolerated by anyone. No one should have to live in an unsafe environment, whether it involves a family member, friend, employer, caregiver or stranger. Physical abuse is against the law, and the authorities should be the first ones contacted if this occurs. A spouse who is being abused should seek a safe place. If there are children involved, they should be protected and removed from the situation immediately. There is nothing in the Bible to indicate that separation in this instance would be wrong. Once a separation has been enforced, the abuser has the responsibility to seek help. If the abuser does not seek help or acknowledge their abusive behavior, the spouse should NOT return to the relationship and could pursue divorce and remarry if he/she chooses.

CONCLUSION:

Marriage is an institution which was initiated, designed, created, and loved by God. God has permitted divorce for three reasons, adultery, physical/mental/sexual abuse and/or desertion by an unbelieving spouse.