It began like any normal afternoon. I was holding and starring into the face of the world's most awesome daughter. When all of a sudden her face began to contort and turn bright red. As Piper's face began to relax a horrific smell wafted through the air to my nose. As I starred down into Piper's smiling/gassy face, I knew she had left me a present. I thought to myself, I will serve Julia by changing this diaper. Little did I know what I was in for.
I got everything situated; I laid down a towel, grabbed a diaper, wipes and began to unbutton her onesie. My fat fingers found it difficult to undue the buttons. (I mean why are these buttons so incredibly small, does the manufacturer only want women changing clothes). After I stripped Piper down. I was a little hot so I turned on the fan. I proceeded to open Piper's diaper to a seedy, brown, awful smelling poop. As I began to wipe her, the cool breeze from the fan began to hit the both of us. As soon as the cool brezze hit Piper she began to pee. I don't mean just a little pee, I mean pee began to go everywhere. I started to scream, "JUUUULLLIIIIAAAA, HEELLLPPPP MEEEE!!!" Piper did not like my screaming and began to scream also; all the while pee was continuing to shoot out. I grabbed Piper and made a bee-line to the bedroom, leaving a pee-line behind us. As I entered the bedroom, I happened to look down at Piper's face and began to see her peaceful complexion change to a look of concentration. I began to get nervous as her face once again began to turn red and bunch up. Here I am holding a naked baby close to me and all signs are pointing to torpedoes away! I held her away from me as I searched frantically for a towel. Rumbling began to erupt from Piper's stomach. Her face began to contort and turn bright red. I searched frantically for a towel, throwing clothes, toys, and books all over the floor. I finally saw a towel across the room. I sprinted towards the towel as Piper's face turned redder and redder with concentration. I grabbed the towel and threw it around her right before torpedoes launched. When the torpedoes hit the towel, a mess went everywhere. Poop went all over Piper and myself. We both began to cry and scream for Julia.
Piper and I lived through the diaper fiasco of December 17th and we both learned two very valuable lessons. We learned if you are going to change a diaper make sure you wait a few minutes to make sure the baby is finished and don't turn on a fan.
I got everything situated; I laid down a towel, grabbed a diaper, wipes and began to unbutton her onesie. My fat fingers found it difficult to undue the buttons. (I mean why are these buttons so incredibly small, does the manufacturer only want women changing clothes). After I stripped Piper down. I was a little hot so I turned on the fan. I proceeded to open Piper's diaper to a seedy, brown, awful smelling poop. As I began to wipe her, the cool breeze from the fan began to hit the both of us. As soon as the cool brezze hit Piper she began to pee. I don't mean just a little pee, I mean pee began to go everywhere. I started to scream, "JUUUULLLIIIIAAAA, HEELLLPPPP MEEEE!!!" Piper did not like my screaming and began to scream also; all the while pee was continuing to shoot out. I grabbed Piper and made a bee-line to the bedroom, leaving a pee-line behind us. As I entered the bedroom, I happened to look down at Piper's face and began to see her peaceful complexion change to a look of concentration. I began to get nervous as her face once again began to turn red and bunch up. Here I am holding a naked baby close to me and all signs are pointing to torpedoes away! I held her away from me as I searched frantically for a towel. Rumbling began to erupt from Piper's stomach. Her face began to contort and turn bright red. I searched frantically for a towel, throwing clothes, toys, and books all over the floor. I finally saw a towel across the room. I sprinted towards the towel as Piper's face turned redder and redder with concentration. I grabbed the towel and threw it around her right before torpedoes launched. When the torpedoes hit the towel, a mess went everywhere. Poop went all over Piper and myself. We both began to cry and scream for Julia.
Piper and I lived through the diaper fiasco of December 17th and we both learned two very valuable lessons. We learned if you are going to change a diaper make sure you wait a few minutes to make sure the baby is finished and don't turn on a fan.
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