I Am Selfish:

The longer I am a parent the more I realize how selfish I am. I am a very selfish individual. Now I can only imagine what you might be thinking, "he's a Pastor. I thought he was suppose to be perfect." Well, let me just pop that bubble right away. I am not perfect in fact I am so far from perfect that if you only knew you would never have me teaching your children. But I digress.

I am selfish and my children reveal the selfishness in me. Allow me to explain:

I come home from work and all I want to do is spend a few minutes unwinding by checking the ESPN app but my daughter (2 years old) and my son (9 months) have other plans. They want to play with daddy or be walked or changed or fed. My son wants to pull my hair and my daughter wants me to dance around the living room with her. Some days I happily play along but on others I get upset and get moody and still check my phone while dancing. I am selfish.

At dinner time all I want to do is eat my meal in peace and quiet talking to my wife but instead I have to feed my son with one hand, keep two eyes on my daughter making sure she doesn't spill her drink or sneak dessert instead of eating her peas and carrots and than feed myself with one hand. I typically get upset and end of yelling when my daughter spills her milk. I am selfish.

The end of the day comes around 9:00 pm and my daughter is in bed and all I want to do is lay on the couch and enter a comatose state while staring at my phone but that is about the time of the night when my son becomes fussy (b/c he's tired) and he needs to be walked. I typically try to ignore him as long as possible before my wife finally gives me a kick and I reluctantly get up off the couch and take him to walk him around; complaining the whole time. I am selfish.

I went back and re-read these last three paragraphs and realized I had left out my amazing wife who serves all of us and I once again was reminded that I am selfish.

Where am I going with this? To be honest I am not really sure except to remind myself that I am selfish. I can fool so many people around me into thinking I am a stand up dad, husband, Pastor, leader but when I am alone in my house with no one else around but my family it is than revealed my true nature and that is one of a selfish human being.

This is why I need a Savior. I need a Savior because I can not do it on my own. I am not perfect. I fail everyday, multiple times a day but thanks be to God I have an advocate in Heaven who died for me, hears my prayers, and forgives me. I'm thankful for the never-ending, never-giving up, unbreakable, self-less love of Christ.

The Christian life (my life) is not one of hearing the Gospel one time and moving on from the Gospel rather the Christian life (my life) is one of perpetually needing to be reminded of the Gospel. Confessing my sins, repenting of my sins and running to Christ. I need the glorious truths of the Gospel everyday.

I am a selfish sinner but Christ is a self-less Savior.

Thanks be to God that in spite of myself God loved me enough to send His one and only Son to die for me.

Please if you struggle with selfishness like I do may I encourage you to confess your sin and run to Christ. You won't regret it.