This weekend I had the privilege of attending a youth retreat in the mountains of North Carolina. I had a great time hanging out with middle/high school students, playing dodge ball, hiking, and studying the Bible. One of my responsibilities during the youth retreat was leading a break-out session for 11-12th graders. The break-out session lasted for two hours and during our time we examined the Book of Daniel and highlighted the importance of Bible study and prayer. Before every lesson was an activity to help to engage the teens and get them talking. One of the activities involved throwing around a "koosh" ball and discussing several different topics and questions.
One of the questions which the teens answered was, "I know my parents are proud of me." I asked the question and tossed the "koosh" ball to the first teenager. I was expecting the majority of the teens to agree with the statement and we would move on. What I learned; however, was that the majority of teens in my break-out session (about ten) did not know that there parents were proud of them. Below are several statements teenagers in the group made.
- I don't know if my parents are proud of me (said with a shrug of his shoulders and a downward glance)
- I think my parents are proud of me but I don't hear it
- I know when my parents are NOT proud of me
- My parents tell me they are proud when I bring home good grades and do well in school but I don't always hear that they're proud of me.
- I like to think they're proud of me but I don't KNOW.
After a few minutes of listening to 11/12th grade teenagers talk about not knowing if their parents were proud of them and watching their body language express sadness over this question I wanted to give each of them a hug and tell them that I was proud of them.
Parents, may I encourage you to tell your teenager that you are proud of him/her. May I encourage you for no specific reason to take time TODAY to text, call, look them in the eye when they come home from school and let them know that you are proud of them. When they make mistakes (and they will), when they make stupid decisions (and they will), before you say anything negative towards their behavior and before you punish them take time to let them know that you are proud of them but you are not proud of there choice. ALWAYS affirm your teenager before de-affirming their behavior. Please take time today to affirm your teenager. Please constantly and consistently tell your teenager that you are proud of him/her. They will not know unless they are told and it will not sink in unless it is told MULTIPLE times. Take time today to tell your teenager you are proud of him or her.
Parents, I work with teenagers for a living and I know that it is not easy to raise a teenager. Teenagers tend to be hard-headed and difficult and I know at times you may wonder if you are doing anything right. May I encourage you not to be so hard on yourself and letting your teenager know that you are proud of him/her is a simple, yet, effective way to have an impact on their life. Statistics show if a teenager constantly and consistently told by their parent they they are proud of them they are encouraged and are more likely to make wise decisions and come to you when they make poor decisions. Please take time TODAY to tell your teenagers you are proud of him or her.
Reaching, Teaching, and Releasing,
T Welch
No comments:
Post a Comment