Lessons Learned

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” Ephesians 5:25

Julia and I have been married for six months and it has been amazing. Thinking back on the wedding day I never imagined how much my life would change after becoming married. While I was in the back waiting for the wedding to begin my groomsmen gathered around me and prayed for me and my marriage. One of the groomsmen prayed that I would learn how to lead Julia and that I would die to myself and serve her daily. The main point of his prayer came from Ephesians 5:25, here Paul is telling husbands to love their wives with the same unreserved, selfless, and sacrificial love that Christ has for the church. Christ gave everything He had; including His own life, for the sake of His church, and that is the standard of sacrifice for a husband’s love of his wife. Before marriage I always “thought” that I would be able to die for my wife, I knew that if a burglar broke in, a bullet was shot; she was drowning, or numerous other scenarios, that I could/would very easily be the one to save her.

However,


I never imagined that dying to self and leading her was a sacrificial process which is made to be taken one day at a time or even one hour at a time. For example, I never thought that loving her as Christ loved the church would include learning how to use tools, including, putting in a washer machine and dryer. This process ordinarily takes one hour but took me four involving losing my temper… a lot, Julia having a minor burn on her arm, and me finally swallowing my pride and calling maintenance. I never thought that loving Julia as Christ loved the church would include cleaning her car, and changing the oil so that she would be able to make the drive to work. I never thought it would include allowing Julia to sleep on the side of the bed which is closest to the fan, while I lay on the other side sweating like a pig. Or in the winter waking up early inorder to turn on the Shower so she would have warm water. I never thought it meant going to school all day and then eating a quick dinner and heading off to work in order to go to work to pay for rent and put food on the table. I never knew it meant killing huge spiders and weird looking bugs which I am also afraid of. I never thought it meant calling SallieMae and dealing with difficult people in order to find out information. I never thought it meant making a budget and then sticking with it. I never thought it meant saying "no" to good things in order to do the best thing, spending time with my wife. I never knew it meant taking time out of my day to lay with her, cuddle with her, and talk to her.

I am learning everyday that in order to love my wife as Christ loved the Church; I must serve her. I must serve my wife in the big things yet, but more importantly, in the little things. Just as Christ died for the church; I too must die to my selfish ambitions, my anger, pride, jealousy, etc. daily in order to love my wife.

I will close with this question; men, how are you doing? I mean, how are you really doing at serving your wife, fiancé, or girlfriend? Do you truly love her as Christ loved the Church? How have you sacrificed for her today?



.