Can I be honest with you? Can I share my heart with you for a minute?
I am struggling with feelings of discouragement in ministry. I am struggling with wanting to throw in the towel and asking myself if it even matters anymore.
Before I go on I need to back up and give you a little back story.
I went to college at Liberty University where I was a Religion: Youth Ministry major. Yes, that is an actual degree and yes I did spend "some" time in the library during my undergrad; though, truth be told in one of my classes I had a mid-term in which we drew turkeys with our hands. No I am not making that up and I think the professor got fired the following semester.
Anyways... while in college I volunteered at Thomas Road Baptist Church (you may know it as Falwell's church and the Moral Majority). TRBC is a mega-church in every sense of the word. On a typical Sunday, the church would have about 8,000 people worshiping. I volunteered in several capacities while a member of TRBC and one of the ways I volunteered was in their youth department. On a typical Sunday morning we would have over 300 teenagers in Sunday School. To help put that into perspective that is typically more people than I have attend the entire church I work at now during a typical Sunday morning. 300 in Middle/High School Sunday School! I knew that I would not graduate and get a job in a mega-church but my time at TRBC shaped my view of ministry.
During my junior year I had to do an internship with a Student Ministry Department. I choose to work with a local church in NJ. This local church typically had 25-30 students on a Wednesday night and 15-20 students on a Sunday morning. I had an incredible experience during my internship and learned a lot about working in a local church. I left the internship with the impression that a typical church which I would be hired at would have a youth group of 20-30 students.
After college, I attended seminary at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary in Wake Forest, North Carolina. My wife and I attended a church which had three services on a Sunday and if I remember correctly had about 800 in attendance on a Sunday morning. My wife and I volunteered in the K4 SS class and Kindergarten SS class. Each grade in the Elementary wing of the church building had multiple classes being taught per grade level. Every Seminary student should have to teach Kindergarten SS to help keep them grounded in theology. Try and explain the Bible to a 5 year old in a way he or she can understand and than you will know if you are learning anything in school.
I have always been around and served in typically larger churches and that experience has shaped (right or wrong) my view of ministry.
If I may be honest and bare my heart.
I am discouraged by the size of my Student Ministry. At times, I am embarrassed by the number in my Student Ministry department. On a typical Wednesday night we have 8 students and on a typical Sunday morning we have 12 students.
I follow individuals I went to school with on social media and I see there youth bands, incredible activities and high numbers and I get envious. I meet with youth pastors in my city and I hear them complain about a low attendance event which only had 20 students attend and I want to grab them and say 20 STUDENTS... I WOULD BE JUMPING UP AND DOWN IF 20 STUDENTS SHOWED UP!
I am discouraged. I realize it is wrong to compare myself to other Student Ministry but it is so hard at times. I realize I am making a difference in the lives of my students but I just wish I was doing more.
To be honest with you, I wish I had the largest Student Ministry department in my city. I wish I was the guy other youth pastors looked up to and said, "have you seen the size of his student ministry department." (I know this thought is prideful and sinful).
So... how do I fight discouragement in ministry?
I give it to Jesus in prayer. I cry out to God. I write blogs to process my frustration and to give words to someone else's struggle. I have spent many hours in the youth room crying out to God and as I have spent time with God and His Word four pieces of advice have been implanted on my heart.
1) Work Harder: I need to pray more and pray harder for my students and for God to grow my department. I need to hit the streets and local middle/high schools more. I need to get out of my office and spend time interacting with students. I need to never become content with the size of my department but I need to do all I can to grow my Student Ministry. I need to have a clean/modern space for my students to interact with each other and learn about God. I need to learn from others who are succeeding in the area of Student Ministry. I need to read books, attend conferences, ask hard questions of youth pastors who are reaching students. I need to be a learner. I need to put in the time, effort and hard work to grow my department. May I never become so discouraged or so content in my numbers that I stop working hard to reach the next student or school.
Please, do not misunderstand me, I know God is sovereign... I know God will grow my department if He pleases BUT I also know that He will only move if I am working. God has called me to work and it is in and through my working that He will reach more students with the Gospel. We are to work hard for the Lord, spreading the message and inviting people to church but knowing in the end it is God who causes the growth and if/when the Student Ministry Department begins to grow all glory and honor and praise goes to God.
2) Be Faithful: One day I will stand before God and give an account for my students and my ministry. I want to be found faithful. I want to have given every last ounce of strength and breath in my body for my students. Even if five students show up to an event, I want to put on the best event possible for those five students. Even if eight students show up to a Wednesday night Bible Study I want to be able to faithfully preach the Bible as if 800 students were there. The students in CREW do not deserve second best because we are small they deserve the best I can offer. I will never slack in my job to minister faithfully to my students. Regardless if our numbers are 8 or 800 they will get my full attention, love, and the best events/lessons I know how to put on.
3) Count My Blessings: I need to log off social media and stop comparing myself, my ministry with others. I need to focus on what I have. Let me tick off my blessings: I have an incredible Student Ministry team, I have a large budget (a huge budget for the size of my group), I have an amazing space to meet in and interact with students, I have the backing of the Senior Pastor, deacons and church body, I am not micro-managed and have free reign to run my department how I see fit, I have a great group of students, I have incredible parents who support me and my family and desire to help in any way, I am able to be a full time Student Minister, and the list could go on and on. I am blessed to be Associate Pastor/Minister of Students at FBC Stanleyville. I love my church and the freedom I have to do ministry. I need to spend more time counting my blessings.
4) Crucify My Pride: The root reason at least in my heart for wanting a large Student Ministry is pride. Sinful pride. I need to nail my pride to the cross. I need to crucify my selfish pride on the cross. I need to daily die to myself and follow Jesus. I am repenting of wanting my name more famous than the name of Jesus. I am repenting of wanting my name talked about more than the name of Jesus. I want, desire and need my pride to die. I am a sinful man who serves a sinless Savior. I am thankful for the power of repentance and the ability by the power of the Holy Spirit to crucify my pride each and every time it raises it's ugly head.
In conclusion, I struggle with discouragement and at times I want to throw in the towel but in the end I need to work harder, be faithful, count my blessings and crucify my pride.
If God causes CREW Student Ministry to grow to 30 students Praise The Lord but if He decides to keep our numbers where they are than I need to continue to praise the Lord. He is worthy!
I am struggling with feelings of discouragement in ministry. I am struggling with wanting to throw in the towel and asking myself if it even matters anymore.
Before I go on I need to back up and give you a little back story.
I went to college at Liberty University where I was a Religion: Youth Ministry major. Yes, that is an actual degree and yes I did spend "some" time in the library during my undergrad; though, truth be told in one of my classes I had a mid-term in which we drew turkeys with our hands. No I am not making that up and I think the professor got fired the following semester.
Anyways... while in college I volunteered at Thomas Road Baptist Church (you may know it as Falwell's church and the Moral Majority). TRBC is a mega-church in every sense of the word. On a typical Sunday, the church would have about 8,000 people worshiping. I volunteered in several capacities while a member of TRBC and one of the ways I volunteered was in their youth department. On a typical Sunday morning we would have over 300 teenagers in Sunday School. To help put that into perspective that is typically more people than I have attend the entire church I work at now during a typical Sunday morning. 300 in Middle/High School Sunday School! I knew that I would not graduate and get a job in a mega-church but my time at TRBC shaped my view of ministry.
During my junior year I had to do an internship with a Student Ministry Department. I choose to work with a local church in NJ. This local church typically had 25-30 students on a Wednesday night and 15-20 students on a Sunday morning. I had an incredible experience during my internship and learned a lot about working in a local church. I left the internship with the impression that a typical church which I would be hired at would have a youth group of 20-30 students.
After college, I attended seminary at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary in Wake Forest, North Carolina. My wife and I attended a church which had three services on a Sunday and if I remember correctly had about 800 in attendance on a Sunday morning. My wife and I volunteered in the K4 SS class and Kindergarten SS class. Each grade in the Elementary wing of the church building had multiple classes being taught per grade level. Every Seminary student should have to teach Kindergarten SS to help keep them grounded in theology. Try and explain the Bible to a 5 year old in a way he or she can understand and than you will know if you are learning anything in school.
I have always been around and served in typically larger churches and that experience has shaped (right or wrong) my view of ministry.
If I may be honest and bare my heart.
I am discouraged by the size of my Student Ministry. At times, I am embarrassed by the number in my Student Ministry department. On a typical Wednesday night we have 8 students and on a typical Sunday morning we have 12 students.
I follow individuals I went to school with on social media and I see there youth bands, incredible activities and high numbers and I get envious. I meet with youth pastors in my city and I hear them complain about a low attendance event which only had 20 students attend and I want to grab them and say 20 STUDENTS... I WOULD BE JUMPING UP AND DOWN IF 20 STUDENTS SHOWED UP!
I am discouraged. I realize it is wrong to compare myself to other Student Ministry but it is so hard at times. I realize I am making a difference in the lives of my students but I just wish I was doing more.
To be honest with you, I wish I had the largest Student Ministry department in my city. I wish I was the guy other youth pastors looked up to and said, "have you seen the size of his student ministry department." (I know this thought is prideful and sinful).
So... how do I fight discouragement in ministry?
I give it to Jesus in prayer. I cry out to God. I write blogs to process my frustration and to give words to someone else's struggle. I have spent many hours in the youth room crying out to God and as I have spent time with God and His Word four pieces of advice have been implanted on my heart.
1) Work Harder: I need to pray more and pray harder for my students and for God to grow my department. I need to hit the streets and local middle/high schools more. I need to get out of my office and spend time interacting with students. I need to never become content with the size of my department but I need to do all I can to grow my Student Ministry. I need to have a clean/modern space for my students to interact with each other and learn about God. I need to learn from others who are succeeding in the area of Student Ministry. I need to read books, attend conferences, ask hard questions of youth pastors who are reaching students. I need to be a learner. I need to put in the time, effort and hard work to grow my department. May I never become so discouraged or so content in my numbers that I stop working hard to reach the next student or school.
Please, do not misunderstand me, I know God is sovereign... I know God will grow my department if He pleases BUT I also know that He will only move if I am working. God has called me to work and it is in and through my working that He will reach more students with the Gospel. We are to work hard for the Lord, spreading the message and inviting people to church but knowing in the end it is God who causes the growth and if/when the Student Ministry Department begins to grow all glory and honor and praise goes to God.
2) Be Faithful: One day I will stand before God and give an account for my students and my ministry. I want to be found faithful. I want to have given every last ounce of strength and breath in my body for my students. Even if five students show up to an event, I want to put on the best event possible for those five students. Even if eight students show up to a Wednesday night Bible Study I want to be able to faithfully preach the Bible as if 800 students were there. The students in CREW do not deserve second best because we are small they deserve the best I can offer. I will never slack in my job to minister faithfully to my students. Regardless if our numbers are 8 or 800 they will get my full attention, love, and the best events/lessons I know how to put on.
3) Count My Blessings: I need to log off social media and stop comparing myself, my ministry with others. I need to focus on what I have. Let me tick off my blessings: I have an incredible Student Ministry team, I have a large budget (a huge budget for the size of my group), I have an amazing space to meet in and interact with students, I have the backing of the Senior Pastor, deacons and church body, I am not micro-managed and have free reign to run my department how I see fit, I have a great group of students, I have incredible parents who support me and my family and desire to help in any way, I am able to be a full time Student Minister, and the list could go on and on. I am blessed to be Associate Pastor/Minister of Students at FBC Stanleyville. I love my church and the freedom I have to do ministry. I need to spend more time counting my blessings.
4) Crucify My Pride: The root reason at least in my heart for wanting a large Student Ministry is pride. Sinful pride. I need to nail my pride to the cross. I need to crucify my selfish pride on the cross. I need to daily die to myself and follow Jesus. I am repenting of wanting my name more famous than the name of Jesus. I am repenting of wanting my name talked about more than the name of Jesus. I want, desire and need my pride to die. I am a sinful man who serves a sinless Savior. I am thankful for the power of repentance and the ability by the power of the Holy Spirit to crucify my pride each and every time it raises it's ugly head.
In conclusion, I struggle with discouragement and at times I want to throw in the towel but in the end I need to work harder, be faithful, count my blessings and crucify my pride.
If God causes CREW Student Ministry to grow to 30 students Praise The Lord but if He decides to keep our numbers where they are than I need to continue to praise the Lord. He is worthy!
Thank YOU!
ReplyDeleteThank you for putting words to what I struggled with my entire time as a student minister. Thank you fro showing me the reality of the situation and thank you for being transparent.
By the way, as a current student at SEBTS, I want to tell you that I am proud to have you as one of our alumni. Your spirit of humility and openness is a gift and a blessing to all who are struggling in the ministries that God has placed them into. Thank you, for all you are doing for the Kingdom.