Tough Questions: What Do Muslims Believe About Jihad:

What do Muslims believe about jihad? Jihad is the Muslim term for the word "striving", but is also used to refer to holy war-fighting for the cause of Islam. Muslim scholars explain that Muhammad's teachings on jihad changed over time as his circumstances changed and as resistance to his teachings increased.

Initially, when Islam was a fledgling teaching, Muhammad taught that Muslims should peacefully persuade people to follow Islam. But when Muhammad fled from Mecca to Medina in 622, his followers in Mecca faced persecution. Then, he advised them that fighting for Islam was allowed, but only in defense or to retrieve possessions that have been stolen.

Later, as Islam was spreading, Muhammad encouraged Muslims to take initiative in war to spread Islam-including going on the offense to kill people who didn't believe or convert-except for four holy months out of the year. "When the forbidden months are past, then fight and slay the pagans wherever you find them, and seize them, beleaguer them, and give alms, then leave their way free" (Sura 9:5). Muhammad also taught that the only way to be guaranteed to be accepted into paradise was to die as you were spreading Islam.

Muhammad's final teaching on jihad is what a majority of Muslim scholars declare to be the final and authoritative revelation about the topic since later revelation trumps earlier revelation in Islam. With that interpretation, Muhammad's final teaching on jihad removes all restrictions on fighting to spread Islam because the Koran teaches that jihad should be the practice of any Allah-honoring Muslim. There are over one hundred Suras-passages in the Koran-that command violence or murder of infidels, or people who do not choose to follow Allah.

But within Islam there are various responses to this teaching. Many cultural Muslims focus on the passages in the Koran that talk about peace and religious tolerance. In fact, every Muslim that I have known over the years has practiced and promoted peace and religious tolerance. These Muslims do not practice jihad because they argue that the passages in the Koran about jihad were solely relevant during Muhammad's time.

But Koranic Muslims and militant Muslims agree with the majority of Islamic scholars and believe that the commands to practice jihad for the spread of Islam is universal and for all time. These groups of Muslims believe it's their religious duty to kill and die for the spread of Islam. Muhammad is seen as the perfect man in Islam, and his militant actions are to be as immoral-such as lying-are overlooked if done in the name of spreading Islam or when interacting with non-Muslims. Koranic and militant Muslims will often pose as cultural and peaceful Muslims if it will be beneficial to jihad.

Regardless of the mixed interpretations of jihad within Muslims, it is universally believed within Islam that dying to spread the religion is the only way to guarantee entrance into paradise. It is seen as the highest, most honorable act. And regardless of whether the command to kill non-Muslims was a command for a select period of time or for all time, it was once commanded, which provides insight into the nature of Allah.

Christians, who are reading this post should be asking... "what should be our response?" As Christians we must remember that our call is not to safety or comfort but our call is to spread the Gospel. Jesus's teaching in the Gospel of Matthew should be our guide when dealing with Muslims. Matthew 5:43-48, "You have head that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, 'Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.' And again in Matthew 10: 16, Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpent and innocent as doves. Even if (and this is a big if) every Muslim was out to kill to spread Islam that does not give us license to run and hide and avoid them. We are called for the sake of the Gospel to love, serve and be hospitable to Muslims. When Muslims see our good deeds they will glorify our Father in Heaven instead of Allah.

In conclusion, you can not read the Koran without realizing how violent the religion of Islam is. Every Muslim must deal with these passages in the Koran. The majority of Muslims interpret the verses to apply only to Muhammad and promote peace and religious tolerance. Unfortunately, the focal minority within Islam who believe the verses apply to today and promote violence get the most time on television. As Christians we are called for the sake of the Gospel to love our enemies and to do good to those who seek to harm us. When we practice our good deeds among Muslims they will see our light and will give glory to God instead of Allah.

*Information from World Religion From a Christian Perspective by Walk Thru the Bible

An Interesting Conversation:

The other week I had the privilege of being invited to have coffee with a local lesbian progressive activist and a professor at one of the local Universities in my city. We had a wonderful conversation and drank a lot of coffee.

She wanted to talk to me because evangelical Christianity piqued her interest, as a sociological phenomenon. She was most interested in our sexual ethic, and peppered me with questions about why we thought certain things were sinful. She was shocked to learn that some things which she thought I would frown upon I was completely fine with within the confines of marriage. We had a respectful, civil conversation, though she couldn't help but laugh out loud several times when I articulated viewpoints quite commonplace in Christianity. She said I was the first person she'd ever actually talked to who believed that sexual expression ought only to take place within marriage, and that I was the only person she'd ever met in real life who thought that marriage could only happen with the union of a man to a woman. She said that if she ever met anyone who had seen someone for more than three or four weeks, without having sex, she would not first assume that this person had some sort of religious conviction, but rather that this person must bear the psychological scars of some sort of traumatic abuse. She followed this up by saying, "So do you see how strange what you're saying sounds to us, to those of us here in normal America?"

Before I could answer, I was distracted by those two words: "normal America." Most of the people in the pews of my church would consider themselves to be "normal America." They would view this woman-with her sexual openness and her dismissal of monogamy-as part of some freakish cultural elite, out of touch with "traditional values." But I suspect she's right. More and more, she represents the moral majority in this country, committed to "family values" of personal autonomy and sexual freedom. She is normal, now.

She snapped me out of my daydreaming by asking again, "Seriously, do you know how strange this sounds to me?" I smiled and said, "Yes, I do. It sounds strange to me too. But what you should know is, we believe even stranger things than that. We believe a previously dead man is going to show up in the sky, on a horse." And that started us on another round of coffee and further discussion...  

Tough Question: What Is Better A Real Christmas Tree Or An Artificial Tree:

It's the most wonderful time of the year. Christmas lights are up all over town, presents are being purchased, eggnog is being drunk, and Christmas trees are being raised in homes all over my city. This time of year sparks a friendly debate among families... which is better a real Christmas tree or an artificial tree?

Allow me to settle this debate once and for all: I have had both a real tree and an artificial tree and an artificial tree is a 1,000 times better than a real tree. Allow me to share my story with you to prove my point.

Growing up the day after Thanksgiving we would go Christmas tree hunting... now don't picture a drive into the mountains to chop down a tree in the woods rather picture everyone hoping into a Ford Explorer and driving to the local grocery store to pick out a tree next to a building. We would spend hours sifting through trees attempting to find the perfect one. Did I mention it would take hours (ok maybe not hours but it sure did feel like hours). When at last we found the right size, one of us would have to stand next to the tree and fight off anyone else who happened to want the same tree that we wanted. I pack a mean left hook if you try and steal my tree.

My dad would come back and inform us that we had paid for the tree and than the real fun began. We had to carry... more like drag the tree to our Ford Explorer... manhandle it on top of our explorer... figure out how to tie it to the roof of the explorer... inevitably this would lead to a fight between my dad and I. We would be yelling at each other (raising our voices) in the middle of the local grocery store parking lot. Once we got the tree on top of the car... strapped down... we would proceed home. A bright ray in the midst of all the turmoil is that us kids in the back would get to hold the straps and my parents always told us that we were helping to hold the tree in place.

At home the tree would without fail have a stump which was too big for our tree stand so we would have to find a saw... chop off a portion of the trunk so it would fit. Manhandle... drag/carry the tree into the living room and set it up. Once the tree was set up we would have to string lights...decorate with ornaments and always keep it watered. Yes... watered... everyday we would have to water the tree because if you didn't the tree would catch on fire and burn down the whole house. So... everyday we watered the tree. E.v.e.r.y.d.a.y w.e. w.a.t.e.r.e.d. t.h.e. t.r.e.e. (so monotonous). As soon as Christmas was over... probably before the end of the day. We manhandled, dragged/carried the tree to the curve because you can't leave it in your house too much longer because it dries out and could burn down the whole house. Oh the stress. My blood pressure is up just thinking about it.

I can hear you... yes you reading this article... oh but I bet the smell was wonderful. Who cares about the smell when you're vacuuming up pine needles everyday and have tree sap all over the furniture. Trust me the smell where's off.

Let me fast forward to this year's Christmas. At 2:00 pm I got up off the couch went down to the basement... pulled our artificial tree out. Carried it without any problem up the steps. Set up our pre-lit 8ft Christmas tree and was done by 2:20 pm. Oh did I mention that the tree fits our house perfectly. There is no tree sap nor do I have to water the tree nor do I have to vacuum pine needles up off the floor. Oh and I can leave it turned on all night long because the needles are flame resistant. Yes, the tree at first was more expensive than a real tree but now that we have used the same one for multiple years the tree has paid for itself a few times over.

And if I want that Christmas tree smell...well I just light a candle and it smells just like a real Christmas tree.

In conclusion, real trees are a waste of time, money and energy. They are a hassle which no one has time for. Artificial trees have always been and will always be the way to go!

Oh yeah one more point my parents now have an artificial tree and they (I quote) would never go back to the hassle of purchasing a real tree.

DEBATE CLOSED!

An Open Letter To Dads On Holidays:

Dear Dads,

If you are anything like me you are already thinking about all of the money which will be spent this holiday season. If you are like me you are already budgeting in your mind how much everything will cost and also taking into account all of the bills which will come due at the end of December. When I begin to think about bills and providing a GREAT Christmas for my children and my wife and on top of that the three birthdays I have in December I begin to get nervous.

I begin to think of all the money which will be spent and I begin to think about taking on more hours at work. I begin to think about scheduling a few speaking engagements at other churches to cover the holiday costs. Maybe, you are thinking of working a little overtime in December to provide monetarily for your family. Maybe, you are thinking of working longer hours in December to close out the books.

May I encourage all of us, myself included, NOT to work longer hours in December. In fact, may I encourage everyone reading this post to shut down our iPhones, power down our computers and spend more time with our families this holiday season. Dads, let us be more like Bob Cratchit and less like Ebenezer Scrooge this holiday season.

Dads, you and I are the gatekeepers to holiday fun. For too long, men have opted to allow their wives to lead the holiday festivities. I believe this is a wrong approach to the holidays. Men... Dads...we should be actively involved in creating memories with our children.

Dads, we should be the ones teaching our children how to put up a tree. We should be the ones checking our local television stations to find out when "Frosty the Snowman", "Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer" and "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" are on. We should be the ones taking the kids to the Christmas tree lightnings and the light displays in our city. We should be the ones taking our kids deer hunting this season. We should be the ones fighting the crowds to purchase that "one" present our children have to have. We should be the ones putting together toys on Christmas morning and inserting new battery after new battery into toys. Dads, let us not shirk our holiday responsibilities by running to work, instead, let us be bold and brave and become involved in the holiday festivities!

Looking back over many Christmas seasons it is not the presents that I remember but the spending time with family that stands out. I can remember driving around looking at Christmas lights or driving through Newport News Park to see the light display or baking Christmas cookies. I can remember my dad putting together all of our toys on Christmas morning. I can remember my dad being a part of the holiday season. The memories that stand out are the times spent with my dad and with family.

Dads, I am learning that my children desire time with me more than they desire presents and I believe the same is true for your children. Your children desire time with you more than they desire presents.

Dads, may I encourage you that you are the gatekeepers to your families Christmas traditions... don't play the part of Ebenezer Scrooge this holiday season... lavish your family with your time and work hard to create memories which will last longer than the latest iPhone or gaming counsel.

Now if you will excuse me I need to power down my iPhone and go set up the Christmas tree with my children.

Wednesday Worship:

Wednesday Worship:

Wednesday Worship:

Curious Children:

We’ve all been there.You're humming the Curious George theme song while doing dishes when you're hit with this:

Daddy, where did God come from? Who made him? Was it dark before he created darkness? How will baby brother know when it’s time to come out of Mommies belly? And can I have some blueberries for a snack?

Kids ask compelling questions. Often they have a lot of them. As parents, we are blessed with the responsibility to train up our children in the Lord. Part of this training involves taking the time to answer tough questions in ways their little minds can understand. And many of the questions are wonderful opportunities for sharing the gospel.

Four Examples

Here are four examples of ways we have tried to answer such questions.

1. Where did God come from? Who made him? 

God existed before time even existed. Nobody made him. He has always lived. Psalm 90:2 says, “Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God.” God has been God since further back than we can even imagine.

2. Why do people have to die?

Originally, God made people so they would never die. But when people started to sin, the whole world became sick and confused. People started to die physically, just like they do today. Our souls never die, though. Souls are the parts of us that make us who we are inside, including the things we can’t see (our thoughts, personalities, feelings, and so on). The Bible says that when Christians no longer have a physical body, their soul is at home with God (2 Cor. 5:8). One day, when Christians are raised like Jesus, they will receive new (and better!) bodies (1 Cor. 15:42–44).

3. How does God make a baby grow inside a mommy’s belly? 

God has made our bodies in such an amazing way. A mommy’s body feeds and nourishes the baby while he or she grows, but God is the one who is growing the baby (kind of like the plants outside). There is so much mystery to God. He is so powerful that he can create galaxies in outer space and he can also create tiny little people. Psalm 139:16 says, “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.” Did you know that babies start out so small that we wouldn’t be able to see them with our eyes? Usually, over the course of about 280 days, God builds a full baby, inside and out. We can’t understand how it all works, but it’s evidence God is both delicate and powerful at the same time.

4. Why can’t astronauts see heaven when they go into the sky? 

Nobody will be able to fully see heaven or hell during this life. Many people believe heaven and hell are in a different dimension. In the Bible, God gave four men visions of heaven: Isaiah, Ezekiel, Paul, and John. He gave two men glimpses of heaven: Micaia and Stephen. We can read about some of those experiences in the Bible. Astronauts will have to wait to see heaven or hell, just like the rest of us.

Four Tips

Additionally, here are four things we’ve tried to keep in mind while seeking to answer big questions from our little people:

1. It’s okay to say “I don’t know.”  

Since God is full of mystery, our minds are not nearly equipped to answer every single question about God and spiritual things. It’s okay to tell our kids, “I’m not sure, but let me find out.” Sometimes, though, our answer must be, “Honey, God is so big that we can’t understand all of him.”

2. Take the time to answer. 

Charles Spurgeon reminds us what’s at stake in this critical task: “You may speak but a word to a child, and in that child there may be slumbering a noble heart which shall stir the Christian church in years to come.”

It can be easy to brush off a child’s questions due to busyness, exhaustion, or even frustration. Throughout Scripture we see the importance of passing wisdom about God and his works from generation to generation (e.g., Deut. 6:7; Ps. 71:18; Eph. 6:4; 2 Tim. 1:5). God has chosen parents to bear the primary responsibility of teaching their children—and our little ones afford us many opportunities to fulfill it.

3. Be patient.

We all know 50 questions in a row can wear anyone down. A simple and lighthearted, “Buddy, I’m so glad you are so curious; let’s take one question at a time” is all it takes to slow the conversation down a bit. Don’t let frustration get in the way of an excellent opportunity.

4. Remember the child’s age.

Take your kid’s age into account when deciphering how to answer their question. If you have a 4-year-old asking about why bad things happen, your answer should be significantly shorter than for a 10-year-old asking the same thing.

Don’t expect a small child to have the same attention span as older children. On the other hand, don’t shortchange an older child who genuinely wants to understand. Read about the topic together and discuss it as deeply as they’re willing.

May we be aware that the Lord is always working even through the daily interactions with our children. Those deep questions, though seemingly random, are divinely planned invitations teach the next generation about the character of God and his marvelous deeds.

My Story: Suicide is NOT the Answer:

I remember many times as a teenager feeling worthless. I struggled with an extremely low self-esteem. I felt that no one really cared if I existed and I thought about taking my life at times.

I can remember 2x when I tried to strangle myself; once with my hands and another time with a belt.

I’m going to share with you a few things that I did to help me overcome thoughts of suicide.

I read a lot of books but ultimately I read the Bible. I read this book over and over and over again. I had to feed myself with thoughts that I was important and that I mattered to God.

Everyday will be a battle. Everyday I was bombarded with thoughts that I didn’t matter, that I was ugly, gross and unimportant. I had to learn to not be so hard on myself and just accept who I was. It took me some time to develop a healthy picture of myself, so don’t get discouraged if it takes you a while.

Don’t fight alone! I tried to fight this battle alone. I did eventually overcome, but I think I would have had quicker results if I would have asked others for help. I could have had accountability and support when I was going through such a hard time.

Stay busy – Keep yourself busy. Get involved at your church. Ask if you can help out by cleaning or making copies. Help your neighbor lady plant her garden. Volunteer at the local food pantry. Do something to keep yourself busy. The more you stay isolated and alone, the more you will have to battle negative thoughts.

Ask God’s help – You aren’t built to do things in your own ability and strength. Rely on God. Ask Him for help, strength and wisdom to get through your day.

I want to encourage you that if you do struggle with thoughts of suicide, to take the scary step and ask for help. Talk to a teacher at school or a pastor at your church. They have resources that will help you fight this battle.

Finally, suicide is not a good solution to your problems. God has a special plan and purpose for your life. He’s got a unique plan for your life that only you can accomplish. When you think that your life doesn’t matter…that is a lie. It does. It matters to God and it matters to others even if it doesn’t feel like it at times.

Get yourself into God’s word and get yourself some help from a trusted adult and you’ll be on your way to overcoming the battle of suicidal thoughts!

7 Ways To Run the Parenting Marathon:

Author: Chap Bettis:

Earlier this month, more than 50,000 people ran in the New York City Marathon

Parenting is like a marathon. Before the race you are fresh and rested. You start with excitement. But this is not a sprint.

There are painful moments. There are times you hit a wall and think you can’t keep going.

But one day, it’s over. Infants are grown. Bedrooms are empty. The house is quiet.

So how do we run the parenting marathon well and finish strong? Here are eight ways.

1. The race requires endurance.

The New York City Marathon is 26.2 miles through all five boroughs. It is long, varied, and painful. There are hills, bridges, streets, and parks. First-time runners know in theory that it can be painful. But when you actually experience the length and the exhaustion, you wonder if you will finish.

Similarly, seeking to faithfully disciple our children as Christian parents is a long, varied, and painful journey. It is not a sprint. There are certainly moments of joy, but also moments of pain when you want to quit. But this is expected when you realize you’re running a marathon.

2. Running with others gives strength. 

Some in the marathon ran with teams. Others ran individually, but they were surrounded by a mass of 50,000 runners. Even if you were running alone, you were not alone.

Family discipleship, like that marathon, is a community endeavor. We need likeminded parents in the church. Though ultimately parenting our kids is on our shoulders, we all need the camaraderie that parenting in a robust community offers.

3. Encouragement makes a big difference.

More than one million fans line the New York City race course. And what are they doing? Constantly cheering. Since many participants put their names on their shirts, complete strangers yell out encouragement by name.

Not only do we need encouragement, we should also give it. A parent you know is tired, discouraged, ready to quit. Your voice and words can be just the thing they need. Whom could you encourage by name this week?

4. You will be given needed resources at the right time.

When the runners start, they don’t have all they need for the race. Twenty-six miles is a long way. But the organizers provide refreshments along the way, and generous spectators spontaneously offer refreshment too.

Similarly, parents don’t have all the resources they need when they begin their course. But God gives grace and refreshment when we need it. You can trust the organizer of your race will provide refreshment. Look for it. It will be there.

5. You aren’t competing with others. 

Other than a few professional athletes, no one is competing against the other runners. Each just wants to finish. Perhaps you want to beat a personal best time. But the main goal is simply to finish.

Likewise, parenting is not a competitive sport. Yet we so often compare ourselves with others. The truth is, God just calls you to do your best. He knows your unique circumstances and limitations. Let the example of others inspire you, but not condemn you. You aren’t competing against them.

6. Others who care about you are watching.

Each marathon runner is provided with an electronic chip to track his or her movements. It also allows others to follow them on the Internet. As my 24-year-old daughter was running through New York City, her 81-year-old grandmother and her Sunday school class were watching from a smartphone in Alabama.

We parent with eternity in mind. God cares about what how we display his glory in our homes. Our example is being watched and serves to encourage others.

7. It’s all about the joy of finishing well. 

At the end of the marathon, what does a runner have to show for five hours of pain? There are cramps, sore muscles, and blisters, but there’s also the joy of a race well run. Each finisher receives a medal and a warming poncho emblazoned with the words “Finisher.” As exhausted runners walk around New York wearing the blue ponchos, complete strangers call out “Good job!” and “Congratulations!”

We can’t control what our children do with their lives. But we can finish well. We can know in our conscience that we did our best. Not perfect, but our best.

Duty is ours. Results are God’s. We evangelize and disciple our kids, trust the God who made them, and pray we will hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Keep on Running

Family discipleship (and the Christian life) is not a sprint. It’s a marathon. You may be at mile 1, 18, or 25. Others can encourage you along the way, but ultimately you’re running for an audience of One. You are not competing against anyone else.

The King who sits on the throne is also inside you, providing strength and wisdom. Walk if you must. But keep going! It will be worth the pain in the end. And best of all, your Father is waiting at the finish line with open arms.

Parents, Wake Up:

Author: Randy Alcorn

While speaking about sexual purity a few years ago, I told parents that if they’re going to let their children have unrestricted Internet access in the privacy of their own rooms, through computers, tablets, phones, or any other device they might as well buy thousands of pornographic magazines and stack them in their children’s closets and say, “Don’t ever look at those.” It amounts to the same thing.

After my message, a sincere Christian mother came up to me. She was offended by my warning to parents not to allow their children to have unmonitored Internet access.

“I can’t believe you said that,” she began. “My son has Internet access in his room, and I trust him! He’s a good boy.”

I told her, “I was once a seventh grade boy. I’ll tell you right now, you think you’re honoring your son by trusting him, but you are setting him up for a fall. You could hand him a gun, and his life might turn out better than if you just hand him over to the Internet.”

If this strikes you as an overstatement, you simply do not understand the devastating effects of pornography. The great majority of children, especially boys but also girls, who are allowed access to pornography will view it, either inadvertently or purposefully, and many of those will become addicted to it, ruining their lives and in many cases ruining their future marriages.  

That pornography is “harmless” is a lie from the pit of Hell. Scripture says that Satan goes around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour, and sadly, we are losing our daughters and our sons.

For years, such predictions and warnings sounded like the overreactions of religious zealots. But recently an outpouring of information on the negative impact of pornography is available from mainstream researchers and secular sources. (Even GQ Magazine for men shared a piece in 2013 titled, “10 Reasons Why You Should Quit Watching Porn.”) Many researchers recognize, even from their non-Christian worldview, that children’s early exposure to addictive pornography and behavior such as sexting (taking and sharing provocative selfies) is harming them deeply.

The cover title for Time Magazine’s April 2016 issue was “PORN: Why young men who grew up with Internet Porn are becoming advocates for turning it off.” This lengthy, non-faith based article highlighted the real-life sexual problems that men who grew up with Internet porn are facing in relationships (like not being physically able to become aroused by a real encounter with a woman because of the way porn use has altered their brain’s chemistry/functionality).

The New York Times tweeted this tag line to a recent article: “The longer you wait to give your children a smartphone, the better.” Brian X. Chen writes about how increasingly younger kids are being impacted by pornography and sexting:

Ms. Weinberger, who wrote the smartphone and Internet safety book “The Boogeyman Exists: And He’s in Your Child’s Back Pocket,” said she had surveyed 70,000 children in the last 18 months and found that, on average, sexting began in the fifth grade, pornography consumption began when children turned 8, and pornography addiction began around age 11.

In an article for The Atlantic, Hanna Rosin cites research about the wide-spread practice of sexting:

A recent study of seven public high schools in East Texas, for example, found that 28 percent of sophomores and juniors had sent a naked picture of themselves by text or e-mail, and 31 percent had asked someone to send one. …boys and girls were equally likely to have sent a sext, but girls were much more likely to have been asked to—68 percent had been.

…This year, researchers in Los Angeles published a study of middle-schoolers showing that those who sent sexts were 3.2 times more likely to be sexually active than those who didn’t.

A police officer friend told me that hardly a week goes by when he doesn’t get a call from a distraught parent who has discovered nude pictures of their daughter are being sent all over the school or across the country because she posed for a friend, or took the picture herself. Those images can never be fully recalled, nor the shame erased from memory.

Officer John Rasmussen, a school resource officer in my area, explained he often shares with families how the devastating effects of sexting and pornography knows no bounds.  “I’ve frequently found the youth involved come from believing families who have raised ‘good kids.’”

Christian parents would never have believed it if you had told them 25 years ago that one day most kids would be carrying around a little device that would allow them access to pornography and on which they could receive naked images sent by their classmates while the young person is doing homework, in bed, or sitting in church.

Hanna Rosin explains how Major Donald Lowe and his fellow officers at the Louisa County Sheriff's Office have talked to kids about the consequences of sexting:

Lowe’s team explained to both the kids pictured on Instagram and the ones with photos on their phones the serious legal consequences of their actions. Possessing or sending a nude photo of a minor—even if it’s a photo of yourself—can be prosecuted as a felony under state child-porn laws. He explained that 10 years down the road they might be looking for a job or trying to join the military, or sitting with their families at church, and the pictures could wash back up; someone who had the pictures might even try to blackmail them.

“Locally we see a blackmail tactic used time and again.  It usually starts with ‘send me just one pic’,” says Officer Rasmussen. “And that first picture may not be considered too provocative by most, but the kid is manipulated with shame and fear that someone will find out. Coercive requests follow, like, ‘Send me more or I’ll send this one out to your friends and family.’ This can very quickly progress to, ‘Now meet me for “_______” (sex act) or I’ll share all the photos.’”

I’m a parent to a boy and a girl. Like many of you, I find this information, and the related statistics, chilling. (And remember, it’s not just boys who are looking at pornography; young girls are too. Nor are girls the only ones participating in sending inappropriate pictures.) The reality is, if you have children in grade school and older, even if they themselves aren’t exposed to or involved in these practices, some of their classmates certainly are, and as the years go on, more will be.

So what can concerned parents do?

1. Realize your responsibility to protect your children. If your child has a smartphone or has access to a phone, a tablet, online gaming console, or a computer, they are vulnerable. As a parent you might wonder, “Do I have the right to interfere? Isn’t that being nosey?” Your job is to interfere, and to know what is going on in your children’s lives, as well as what happens when they’re at friends’ houses and at school. You need to protect them, just as if you were standing next to a freeway and would feel an obligation to put your arms around them and say, “Stay off that freeway.”

You and your spouse need to decide what age is appropriate for your children to have their own phone, as well as the capabilities their phone has when do they do get one. (Some parents concerned about being able to safely reach their children have provided a phone that can only make calls and text certain numbers.)

2. Start the conversations about the dangers of pornography now. Given the ever-younger ages of kids affected, there’s a great advantage in talking to your kids early—probably much earlier than you might think. Several parents I respect have used and recommended the book Good Pictures, Bad Pictures by Kristen A. Jenson to talk with their children about the dangers of pornography in an age-appropriate format. (The book also provides positive, practical steps for kids when they are inadvertently exposed to inappropriate images.) Older teens could benefit from the many purity-related resources available from ministries.  (For instance, see my article Guidelines for Sexual Purity and Dannah Gresh’s Seven Secrets to Purity for Every Teen Girl.)

Realize too that the conversations shouldn’t be just one time, but ongoing. One mom of boys writes, “What I am coming to see is that my boys and I just have to have conversation after conversation after conversation about the topic and about how most of their friends are going to struggle with this and most of society is struggling with this.”

3. Establish clear guidelines in your family. Install a pornography-filtering and accountability-reporting program on computers, tablets, and smartphones (realizing it can’t screen out everything). Establish, and enforce, rules in your home about keeping electronic devices, including phones, out of private rooms. (Some families have a “drop basket” or a “station” where everyone, including parents, deposits their phones when they come through the door.) Require that computers and televisions stay in high-traffic areas.

4. Talk to your children about the great rewards and happiness of purity, and the destruction and unhappiness of impurity. Talk about how good sex can be inside marriage. Explain how sex is one of the best things God has made, but it becomes the very worst—the most devastating—when it is taken out of its God-given context. Scripture, especially in Proverbs 5-7, provides a great basis to talk to kids about the dangers of impurity and lust.

This is a battle for our children, with their lives and futures at stake. May Christian parents answer the Lord’s call to protect their children, and train them in the joys of purity.

I Love Camp:

I have a confession. I LOVE CAMP!!!! There is nothing better than getting away with my students for a weekend or a week to spend time with each other and God. It always amazes me how God uses these times to draw us closer together as a group and to do a work in the lives of my students.

Below are four reasons why I love camp.

1) Have to vs Get to: I am Associate Pastor/Minister of Students. I wish the church I work at was big enough where I could just be Minister of Students but that is not the case. The Associate Pastor side of my job are all the things I "have to do" to justify my salary. For example: I have to visit the hospital. I have to be in the office from 9-3 (Boooorrrinng). I have to visit shut ins. I have to edit the bulletin. I have to run the web page. I have to do the announcements. I have to...

But

When it comes to my students these are the things I get to do. I get to go without sleep for an entire weekend. I get to spend time pouring into my students. I get to play dodgeball and eat Taco Bell with middle and high schoolers. I get to hang out with middle school students. I get to snap chat. I get to watch God work in the lives of students. I get to...

Camp reminds me of all the reasons why I love my students and love spending time with teenagers. Camp rejuvenates me and excites me to continue to pursue the Lord and run hard after Him. I love my students and I love getting to spend time with them. There is no other place I'd rather be than spending time with my students.

2) Learning More About God in the Sessions: I understand that camp and the sessions are geared for students but God constantly and consistently teaches and speaks to me every time we go to camp. My students come back on fire for God and I also come back on fire and with a renewed commitment to training students and reaching students with the Gospel. Just look at some of the things I learned this past weekend:

• Do we look more like Christ now than you did two years ago?
• Where do we see the power of God? The power of God is not found in nature but is found in the Word of God (Romans 1:16).
• The Bible is the power of God and our only offensive weapon to battle temptation and Satan.
• You can't love Jesus and not love His word.
• We should keep a running conversation with God all day long.
• God does not intend for us to fight our battle with sin alone.
• Accountability cannot be imposed. It must be invited.

How can I not learn more about God with sessions like we had this weekend.

3) Watch God Move In The Lives Of My Students: I am on my third year as Student Minister and this past weekend was my fourth time getting away for a weekend or week with my students. Every time I am amazed at what God does and is doing in their lives. God did a work this weekend in each of their lives and it's an amazing privilege to watch God move in their lives. 

I have watched my students grow closer to God but I have also watched them mature as they are given more and more responsibility. For example, I'm not a fan of babying students so when we go to camp they are responsible for their own money, room keys, phones, etc. I tell my students all the time I'm not your mama I'm not going to be waking you up in the morning. This past weekend every student was given a card which they would use to get into the cafeteria. If they lost the card they could not eat. Some of the students were nervous about losing their card and asked if I would hold it. I politely looked at them and asked if I looked like their mama. When the answer was no. I told them that I treat them like adults and they are responsible for their own card. Do you want to know something? Not one student lost their card. Every one was responsible enough to take care of themselves.

Several of the older high school students I watch take a middle school student under their wing and help to instruct and teach them about life. It was fun to watch.

4) I Love Spending Time With My Students: I realize this point is a lot like my first point but I just want to reiterate how much I love spending time with my students. Julia and I feel that every student in our group is one of our own. We are sad when they are sad, hurt when they hurt and happy when they are happy. They are an extension of our family. I love each and everyone of them and spend time in prayer for each of them everyday. There is no better way to spend my weekend or week than by spending time with each of them.

In conclusion, I LOVE CAMP!!! I love camp because I love my students and love watching God mold them and shape them into His image. I look forward to many years of serving as a Minister of Students.

Change Is Possible:

We have turned the page on 2016 and have opened to a new chapter in 2017. What will this year hold? It is an amazing thing that every year on January 1st we have an opportunity to make resolutions and start afresh. If you are like me than you have already made new year’s resolutions and are looking forward to keeping them. Whatever your resolution is, remember, that because of Christ you can change and keep your resolution. Allow me to explain.

Ephesians 4:24 says, “put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” Christianity means changes is possible. Deep, fundament change. It is possible to become tenderhearted when once you were callous and insensititve. It is possible to stop being dominated by bitterness and anger. It is possible to become a loving person no matter what your background has been.

The Bible assumes that God is the decisive factor in making us what we should be. With wonderful bluntness, the Bible says, “Put away malice and be tenderhearted.” It does not say, “If you can…” Or: “If your parents were tender-hearted to you…” Or: “If you weren’t terribly wronged…” It says, “Be tender-hearted.”

This is wonderfully freeing. It frees us from the terrible fatalism that says change is impossible for me. It frees me from mechanistic views that make my background my destiny.

And God’s commands always come with freeing, life-changing truth to believe. For example,

1) God adopted us as his children: We have a new Father and a new family. This breaks the fatalistic forces of our “family-of-origin.” “Do not call anyone on earth your Father, He who is in heaven” (Matthew 23:9).

2) God loves us as His children: We are loved children. The command to imitate the love of God does not hang in the air, it comes with power, “Be imitators of God as loved children. Love! Is the command and being loved is the power.

3) God has forgiven us in Christ: Be tender-hearted and forgiving just as God in Christ forgave you. What God did is power to change. The command to be tender-hearted has more to do with what God did for you than what your mother did to you. This kind of command means you can change.

4) Christ loved you and gave Himself for you: “Walk in love just as Christ loved you.” The command comes with life-changing truth. Christ loved you. At the moment when there is a chance to love and some voice says, “You are not a loving person,” you can say, “Christ’s love for me makes me a new kind of person. His command to love is just as surely possible for me as His promise of love is true for me.”

Christianity is what makes change possible. You can fulfill your new year’s resolution. Change is possible!

Let Her Fight:

You are at the playground with your three-year-old, lets call her Piper (I'm not sure where I came up with that name).

She’s happily swinging on the “big girl” swing, obviously proud of herself for having graduated from the rubberized, diaper-looking mini-swings. An overgrown lout with greasy hair and what appears to be stubble on his chin – the kid has to be six years old, probably seven – decides that he wants that swing. Now. Glowering at Piper as he towers over her, he casually grabs hold of the chain, yanks it, and sends her dangling off the swing like a marionette. She begins to wail as he pushes her aside. What do you do?

A)    You intervene immediately to console your hyper-ventilating child. “It’s okay, sweetie,” you coo into her ear as she sobs into your shoulder. You calmly carry her away from the scene, find a quiet place to sit her down, and then scan the playground for the lout’s mother so you can give her the Evil Eye.

B)    You intervene immediately to find a peaceful resolution to the crisis. “What seems to be the problem?” you ask innocently as you approach the children. You work to calm them both down and get them to explain what they want. Then you help them find an amicable solution that involves apologies and taking turns.

C)    You sit back and watch the scene. You smile inwardly as Piper picks herself off the ground and shoves the lout back. Surprised by her temerity, he pushes her away again. She’s having none of it. Grabbing the bottom of the swing, she attempts to upend him. By this time, the scene has attracted the attention of several parents, and the lout’s embarrassed mother hurriedly hustles him away.

Most modern parenting books would suggest that B is the best way to deal with the situation, though in reality many parents opt for the non-confrontational A. B has its merits, no doubt. The situation gets resolves peacefully, both kids get the chance to use the swing, and you get another line in your Nobel Peace Prize nomination. But what messages is it sending to Piper and the lout? Even in the best case scenario, that approach tells them the wrong things about life.

First, it rewards bullying. Instead of being punished or shamed, the lout gets to use the swing in the end. That simply is not right! Peace must not come at the expense of justice. That almost-old-enough-to-get-a-learner’s-permit brute has no business messing with a pint-sized pre-schooler. He needs to understand that. He has probably been pushing little kids around since he was mobile, and few of them have had the guts to stand up to him. If he gets away with it today, he will be groping other folks’ daughters on the subway ten years from now. Better to set him straight now.

Intervening to bring peace to the situation also sends the wrong message to Rachel. It tells her that when confronted with a bully the best solution is to find a way to make the bully happy, even if it means that she has to give up something he has no right to have. It tells her that Daddy is going to come to her rescue whenever she gets in trouble. It tells her that she is incapable of standing up for herself. She might as well be that wretched damsel in distress who waits helpless for some man to save the day. Sure, it makes you feel good to be the hero, but at whose expense?

Those are not the kinds of messages I want my daughter to internalize. Instead, I want her to stand her ground when she is right, even if it risks confrontation. I want her to stick up for  and others, even if it means courting danger. I want her to put bullies in their place so that the bullies will not swagger around the playground wreaking havoc anymore. So I advocate C. Resist the temptation to intervene – intervening may make you feel better about yourself, but ultimately it damages your daughter’s ability to develop courage.

Let Her Fight!

Don't Give Your Kid Porn For Christmas:

This Christmas a lot of children will receive porn from under the tree. It not what they wanted, and not what their parents intended for them to have. But they will get it anyway.

The first iPod, the first tablet, the first laptop—these are today’s coming of age rituals. We give our daughter her first iPod and she responds with joy. While we know there is lots of bad stuff out there on the Internet, we never imagine that she—our little girl—would ever want to see it or ever go anywhere she is likely to find it. We give our teen his first laptop, warn him about the responsibility that is now his, and send him on his way. We make a mental note to follow up in a couple of weeks, but are sure that he will do just fine. “He will talk to me if he has any questions or temptations, right?”

The statistics don’t lie. According to recent research, 52% of pornography is now viewed through mobile devices, and 1 in 5 searches from a mobile device is for porn. The average age of first exposure to pornography is 12. Nine out of 10 boys and 6 out of 10 girls will be exposed to pornography before the age of 18. 71% of teens hide online behavior from their parents. 28% of 16-17 year olds have been unintentionally exposed to online pornography. (Time Magazine)

The fact is, giving your children computers, iPods, tablets—any of these devices—gives them access to the major gateway to pornography.

The statistics are intimidating, but not inevitable. There are things you can do to protect your family. If you choose to give your kids digital devices for Christmas, be sure to take measures to protect them.

You will need to have at least 3 goals.

Your first goal will have to be teaching and training. You need to teach and train your children to use their devices responsibly. This kind of training is an indispensable part of responsible parenting in a world like this one. Train your children to use these devices well, and as they prove themselves, allow them freer access and more responsibility.

Your second goal will have to be guarding your children from seeing or experiencing what they do not know exists. The innocent ought to remain innocent without being unintentionally exposed to pornography or dangerous situations before their parents have been able to teach and train them.

Your third goal will have to be preventing your children from seeing or experiencing what they may desire once they learn that it exists. Children and teenagers are insatiably curious and are taught from a young age to use the Internet to find answers to their questions. This is a dangerous combination when it comes to adult matters, and especially matters of sexuality. The concerned parent will want to make it as difficult as possible for his children to access dangerous or pornographic material, even if they want to.

Parents, I am praying for you and hear for you if you would like to talk further about this issue.

What If?:

For a long time the trend in Pastoral Ministry has been to move from church to church over the course of your career. The trend used to be spend three-four years being an Associate Pastor and than move on to a Senior Pastor at a smaller church for 2-3 years, than begin to work your way up moving to a bigger church each time. I have talked with Pastors who recommend always having your resume up to date and circulating around to other churches just in case you lose your job at the church you are at.

I don't know about you but that just seems wrong.

What if we did Pastoral ministry differently? What if students graduated from Seminary and planted their life in a community and at a church? What if instead of moving into a parsonage Pastors purchased a house and set down roots in a community?What if Pastors invested their lives among a church body for 10, 20, 30 even 40 years? What if instead of looking for a bigger church Pastors stayed at their church through thick and thin? What if Pastors stayed on in a church during the bad times when people were leaving and deacons wanted them outed? What if Pastors stayed on in a church during the good years when the church was growing and other churches were offering him a job? What would the ministerial impact be if Pastors stayed at their church for decades instead of years? What would the trust look like between Pastor and church members if all of the church members had been dedicated to the Lord when they were babies by there now Senior Pastor? What would our cities look like if Pastors didn't move in and out but had built up a great reputation in the community?

God has been doing a work in my heart. God has been laying within me a burden to invest my life... not just five years at FBC Stanleyville but my whole life.

What if I raised my family in FBC Stanleyville? What if I stayed long enough to marry my daughter within the walls of FBC Stanleyville? What if I did life with the members of FBC Stanleyville for the next 40 years?

What if?