Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Tough Question: What Is Better A Real Christmas Tree Or An Artificial Tree:

It's the most wonderful time of the year. Christmas lights are up all over town, presents are being purchased, eggnog is being drunk, and Christmas trees are being raised in homes all over my city. This time of year sparks a friendly debate among families... which is better a real Christmas tree or an artificial tree?

Allow me to settle this debate once and for all: I have had both a real tree and an artificial tree and an artificial tree is a 1,000 times better than a real tree. Allow me to share my story with you to prove my point.

Growing up the day after Thanksgiving we would go Christmas tree hunting... now don't picture a drive into the mountains to chop down a tree in the woods rather picture everyone hoping into a Ford Explorer and driving to the local grocery store to pick out a tree next to a building. We would spend hours sifting through trees attempting to find the perfect one. Did I mention it would take hours (ok maybe not hours but it sure did feel like hours). When at last we found the right size, one of us would have to stand next to the tree and fight off anyone else who happened to want the same tree that we wanted. I pack a mean left hook if you try and steal my tree.

My dad would come back and inform us that we had paid for the tree and than the real fun began. We had to carry... more like drag the tree to our Ford Explorer... manhandle it on top of our explorer... figure out how to tie it to the roof of the explorer... inevitably this would lead to a fight between my dad and I. We would be yelling at each other (raising our voices) in the middle of the local grocery store parking lot. Once we got the tree on top of the car... strapped down... we would proceed home. A bright ray in the midst of all the turmoil is that us kids in the back would get to hold the straps and my parents always told us that we were helping to hold the tree in place.

At home the tree would without fail have a stump which was too big for our tree stand so we would have to find a saw... chop off a portion of the trunk so it would fit. Manhandle... drag/carry the tree into the living room and set it up. Once the tree was set up we would have to string lights...decorate with ornaments and always keep it watered. Yes... watered... everyday we would have to water the tree because if you didn't the tree would catch on fire and burn down the whole house. So... everyday we watered the tree. E.v.e.r.y.d.a.y w.e. w.a.t.e.r.e.d. t.h.e. t.r.e.e. (so monotonous). As soon as Christmas was over... probably before the end of the day. We manhandled, dragged/carried the tree to the curve because you can't leave it in your house too much longer because it dries out and could burn down the whole house. Oh the stress. My blood pressure is up just thinking about it.

I can hear you... yes you reading this article... oh but I bet the smell was wonderful. Who cares about the smell when you're vacuuming up pine needles everyday and have tree sap all over the furniture. Trust me the smell where's off.

Let me fast forward to this year's Christmas. At 2:00 pm I got up off the couch went down to the basement... pulled our artificial tree out. Carried it without any problem up the steps. Set up our pre-lit 8ft Christmas tree and was done by 2:20 pm. Oh did I mention that the tree fits our house perfectly. There is no tree sap nor do I have to water the tree nor do I have to vacuum pine needles up off the floor. Oh and I can leave it turned on all night long because the needles are flame resistant. Yes, the tree at first was more expensive than a real tree but now that we have used the same one for multiple years the tree has paid for itself a few times over.

And if I want that Christmas tree smell...well I just light a candle and it smells just like a real Christmas tree.

In conclusion, real trees are a waste of time, money and energy. They are a hassle which no one has time for. Artificial trees have always been and will always be the way to go!

Oh yeah one more point my parents now have an artificial tree and they (I quote) would never go back to the hassle of purchasing a real tree.


No comments:

Post a Comment